Cassandra's Caprice

Favorite Books of 2011

2012-01-06T10:18:00.000-07:00

As promised, a list of great books in arbitrary categories!

Favorite Biography of 2011: 'Steve Jobs' by Walter Isaacson

This was such an excellent book, though the writing is cold and clinical. I was expecting a read revering the recently-deceased Apple genius, and was taken aback by what I found instead. This book changed my perspective on Steve Jobs dramatically, and brought to mind questions about links between genius and personality disorders.

Honorable Mentions:

'Team of Rivals: The Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln' by Doris Kearns Goodwin
'Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption' by Laura Hillenbrand

Favorite Memoir* of 2011: 'A Stolen Life: A Memoir' by Jaycee Dugard

Wow. This book was incredible, heart-wrenching, and upsetting. Jaycee was kidnapped at 11 and held for 18 years in a backyard as a captive. She has written the book herself after her rescue. She had no help from a ghostwriter, and it shows. The writing is crude and at times very bitter, but given her circumstances and her truncated education, forgivable. She discusses the horrors her captors put her through, but doesn't get too involved in the details. That being said, this book is not for the faint of heart, but has a surprisingly positive message.

Honorable Mention: 'Blood, Bones, and Butter: The Inadvertent Education of a Reluctant Chef' by Gabrielle Hamilton

*I know what you're thinking. A biography category and a memoir category? I warned you about the arbitrary categories.

Favorite Science Fiction of 2011: 'Ready Player One' by Ernest Cline

In a dystopian not-so-distant future, a billionaire programmer and game-developer dies without an heir and leaves his large fortune to the first gamer to find his egg embedded in a treasure hunt within his most popular virtual reality game. Corporations and gamers alike get wrapped up in the search, until an unlikely teenager solves the first puzzle. This is an excellent book that gamers would love, but I am not a gamer and also very much enjoyed it.

Honorable Mentions:

'Reamde' by Neal Stephenson
'Matched' by Ally Condie
'Robopocalypse' by Daniel H. Wilson

Favorite Non-Fiction of 2011: 'The Emperor of All Maladies: A Biography* of Cancer' by Siddhartha Mukherjee

This book was a fascinating dive into cancer through the ages. Ancient references to the disease to current treatment options to understanding the core of cancer and why it acts the way it does. The scientific descriptions are simplistic enough for the layperson to understand, but not simplified enough to bore those already familiar with the biochemical mechanics. An interesting read for the scientist and the non-scientist alike.

Honorable Mentions:

'Inside Scientology: The Story of America's Most Secretive Religion' by Janet Reitman
'All the Devils Are Here: The Hidden History of the Financial Crisis' by Bethany McLean and Joe Nocera
'Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids: Why Being a Great Parent is Less Work and More Fun Than You Think' by Bryan Caplan
'Food Rules: An Eater's Manual' by Michael Pollan

*Perhaps this should be in the biography category... Nah.

Favorite Fiction/Literature of 2011: 'Major Pettigrew's Last Stand' by Helen Simonson

I'll be honest, I read a lot of crappy literature/fiction books this year. This book was not in that category, but at the same time, it's not as good as I think it could be. I kept waiting for the literature book of the year that I couldn't stop reading, that caught me in its clutches and refused to release me. Alas, I never found it. Don't let this diversion dissuade you from Major Pettigrew, however. This is probably the most beautiful book I read all year, the writing evoked such descriptive emotion. A book about love and second chances and prejudice.

Honorable(ish - see about rant) Mentions:

'The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake' by Aimee Bender
'The Tiger's Wife' by Tea Obreht
'The Marriage Plot' by Jeffrey Eugenides

And just for fun...

Absolutely the Worst Book I Read All Year: 'The Shack' by Wm. Paul Young

Interestingly, I finished this book on January 1, 2011. What a disjointed pile of garbage this book was. All the worse because I had hoped for an inkling of inspiration or something resembling it. Don't even waste your time thinking about reading this book.

This is a good list I think, though as I look back over my reading diary, books keep leaping out at me begging to be included. (I have thrown in several of them, but have to draw a line somewhere.) Here's to a great 2012 with many more excellent books in store!

2011 Book Report

2012-01-04T07:34:00.001-07:00

For me, 2011 was a year filled with babies, new challenges in life, and thankfully a lot of reading. To recap, in 2010 I read 99 books, and goaled (this should be a verb, so I will use it as such here) to increase my book consumption 10% to hit 109 books in 2011.

Well, I missed my goal, but I increased from last year to 100 books (a 1% increase, can you handle this math?!). Most notably, my reading habits altered in genre this year. Last year, my ratio of Fiction to Non-fiction was 71/28 and this year it was 60/40. In retrospect, I did enjoy reading non-fiction more this year than last year. I'm not sure if this is because I'm smarter this year, have been reading better non-fiction, or if I'm just getting boring and my imagination is deteriorating. Either way, it's an interesting factoid.

Average Books Read Per Month: 8.25

High month: December (13) - I was trying desperately to catch up and Bob traveled a bunch
Low month: April (6) - Month immediately following the birth of Henry

Book Type: (A new category in 2011!):

Kindle books: 61 (Read on Kindle/iPhone/iPad)
Audio books: 18 (via Audible - Bob & I love this!)
Paperback books: 12
Hardcover books: 9

Last time I looked, Bob and I have 136 books in our Kindle library that we have accrued since Christmas 2009. That is 136 books that we can enjoy any time, from any where, simultaneously on many devices, and without having to worry about book storage. Before, Bob and I were accumulating books at a frightening rate and at several points (usually around moving time) we would be challenged with parting with 100 books EACH. Now, we don't have to worry about the shelf clutter, or the struggle of parting. Plus, we're so eco-friendly! If you haven't switched to digital books and you're a reader, do it. It has literally changed my life. We still have a library of physical books that I return to, and I plan on replacing some of my favorites with beautiful hardcover copies.

2010 was the year of the mystery, and I read some great ones, but in 2011 I only read 4. Genres with largest representation this year are as follows: History (13), Fantasy (13), Classic (12), and Comedy (10).

I'm going to post later this week with a list of my favorite books in several arbitrary categories, but for now I'm going to end my annual book update post with a bit of proselytizing.

Read: Reading is one of the best things you can do in your spare time. It increases your vocabulary, enhances your memory, provides you with fodder for discussion, not to mention the entertainment value. Also, reading improves your writing, and with this information age of Twitter, Blogs, Facebook, Emails, Texts, etc, we could all use a boost in our writing skills; 4 reelzies. If you haven't read in a while, pick up popular books from the zeitgeist (e.g. Harry Potter, The Help, The Hunger Games). These books are popular because they are engaging, you will mostly likely like them too. Ask a reader for advice if you need it.
Goal: Make a goal for yourself for 2012. One book per month? Per week? My goal for 2012 is 120, 10 books a month. We'll see how it goes...
Record: I used to use a journal to record my reads, but now I use a simple excel spreadsheet. It only takes a moment to record each book once I'm finished with it, but at the end of the year I have so much data and can enjoy yummy data crunching. Also, this is an invaluable tool when recommending books to friends and family.

You can do it! 10 minutes a day will make a difference and get you into reading again. Think about times/places you can incorporate reading into your life. I have a friend who reads on the elliptical at the gym and finds herself lengthening her workout for good books. Audio books are a great way to slip reading into commuting time, and can be quite fun! (Look for a free trial of Audible on the interwebs if you're interested.) I read to my babies as they go to sleep (we're currently reading Harry Potter 5). Or maybe it's as simple as turning off the television 15 minutes earlier at night.

Open your mind, expand your world: read a book.

Baby Blogs

2011-04-17T11:11:00.004-06:00

After we adopted Olivia we started a blog for her birth parents and their families. We updated this blog every week at first, and then eventually we moved to every other week.

We have grown to love this record of our baby girl, and we decided to do the same thing for Henry after he was born.

So if you would like to follow our babies, check out their respective blogs.

Olivia's blog

Henry's blog

We update every other week, and there are always lots of adorable pictures of my precious babies! Now you see why I don't update here as often as I could...

Four?!

2011-03-25T12:12:00.004-06:00

I'm sitting in front of a roaring fire and watching a blizzard brew outside. Things have finally calmed down this morning, and it's 2:00 in the afternoon. I have a busy road ahead of me. Little Henry Carter is laying next to me in his swing looking incredibly peaceful.

A year ago, we were applying for our adoption approval. This entailed a lot of complex steps (e.g. fingerprinting, disclosing financial information, home inspections). Then we left on a long trip to eastern Europe and Bob and I celebrated our five year anniversary.

Today I have two babies, one six months old and one one week old. They are both beautiful angels, and I am couldn't be happier. Oh, and I'm also incredibly busy. Bob is at home this week, which we mostly spent shuttling Olivia to various babysitters (and the doctor after she got a nasty ear infection) and then travelling to the NICU to check in on baby Henry. He was finally able to come home yesterday after battling an infection, and Olivia got to meet her baby brother.

Baby Henry enjoyed his time in the NICU. All of the nurses gossiped about us, each of them knew our story before we even brought it up. "Now you guys have a six-month-old at home as well? You're going to be busy!" "That's worse than twins!" I personally am just excited to be a mom without being pregnant as well. Those last few months were getting tricky, I missed having a hip to prop Olivia up on.

I guess I just have to say that miracles do happen, and sometimes they happen really close together. I'm so grateful for my two beautiful babies, but I think I'm finished with this particular brand of miracle, at least for a while.

2011 - What Will You Bring?

2011-01-13T15:22:00.002-07:00

Can you believe how big she's getting? Liv is 4 months old, 26 inches, and 16 pounds 10 ounces. That puts her in the 97% percentile across the board. She's a big baby, and has developed such an awesome personality.

Life's pretty crazy around these parts, 2011 is going to be a big year for my family. At the end of this month, we're closing on a new house in Alpine. I never thought that Bob and I would move to Utah County, it seems quite out of character for the two of us, but life seems to be full of surprises. Besides, Bob assures me that we're going to love it there and I am inclined to agree with him. I'll be sure to post some pictures, but it isn't officially ours yet, so I don't have any keys. It will be nice to be doubling our space and to be closer to Bob's work, especially since there's nothing holding us to Salt Lake now that I'm no longer working.

Did I mention that? My maternity leave turned into a permanent hiatus. I have loved staying at home with Olivia, she's an angel. Additionally (prepare yourself internet-only friends), I am seven months pregnant with a little boy who is currently referred to as 'Baby Brother.' (We're working on a name, we've got two months, right?) Apologies for the late update, but we kept it close to the chest until we were sure of a healthy pregnancy. The official due date is March 19th, which will be a couple of weeks after we can officially adopt Olivia!

So yeah, 2011 is going to be a great year for us. I suppose that you can say that when the Lord sees fit to bless us, he goes all out.

Finally, check out my dogs' blog for some interesting stats on my book reading in 2010. Something tells me that they are going to be barking on their blog more often...

World Revolves From Night to Day

2010-12-17T12:31:00.002-07:00

I can't believe how big Olivia is getting! She turned three months old a couple of weeks ago and she is now nearly fifteen pounds. She loves being read to, shiny lights, being naked, and her birds (a mobile).

I have always loved the holiday season. I drive Bob nuts listening to straight Christmas music from Thanksgiving to Christmas day. In the car, he races me to hook his iPhone in first so we can listen to his music rather than my holiday jams again!

There is nothing more fun than having a kid at Christmas. Even though Olivia has been with me when I've bought all of her Christmas presents (and wrapped them too), I'm so excited to open them up with her! We even have it on good authority that Santa has a few gifts for her as well...

I put up our Christmas tree while she was napping and had just plugged in the lights when she awoke. I picked her up and brought her into the front room and you could just see the wonder and excitement in her eyes as she stared at the twinkling lights. It was so magical, seeing the light in her eyes. I place her Bumbo chair in front of the tree and she'll sit there for twenty minutes (a long time for her) staring at the lights.

Bob thought I loved the holidays before, but he has no idea how bad it's going to get in the future!

The Weary Travelers

2010-11-20T17:04:00.002-07:00

Bob, Olivia, and I in Soho last week.

Last week, Bob and I decided to try something bold and adventurous! We took Olivia on her first big trip, all the way across the country to New York City. Bob was going already for some work meetings, and the baby and I hung out in the city both with and without him.

Bob and I love to travel. We love experiencing new places, seeing new things, meeting new people, and eating weird food. When we thought about having children, we always thought it would be important to share those desires with them, and hopefully be able to share in some exciting experiences with them as well. So when the opportunity arose to take her as a two-month old, we jumped at the chance. How hard could it be?

Well, we now know a little better. Gone are the days where we can carry on all of our luggage. Babies require a ridiculous amount of accouterments, and Bob thought that I packed heavy for myself! We no longer can stay out late at night in the city (not that we were big clubbers to begin with), babies need to go to bed at night. But we were able to do a lot of things and Bob and I were able to share some of our favorite Big Apple things with Baby Liv.

When you're fantasizing about the children you will have 'one day,' it's easy to become idealistic and imagine the great life that you are going to provide for them. I worried that some of our dreams were a little far-fetched and that children would make certain actions improbable if not impossible. It was refreshing to take our sweet baby girl on a fairly large endeavor and have it turn out alright in the end. The plane ride wasn't as relaxing, trips out took a lot more accessories, and we had to constantly be aware of what amenities a locale had in case of a sudden diaper or feeding need. But the trip was incredibly fulfilling, because we were together as a family, the three of us, and nothing could have been better in my mind. (Though honestly, I think that she might have preferred staying home. Hopefully, she'll enjoy the next trip a little more.)

I hereby call this trip to New York, a success!

Happy Birthday to Myself

2010-10-28T16:35:00.003-06:00

Last week I turned 25, a quarter of a century! I love birthdays, and though I'm march ever onward toward the dreaded 30, this year was no exception. It's funny how aging works, I don't feel that old, but I look at 20-year-olds, and I definitely feel older than them.

I don't think Olivia quite got into the celebration. The hat started to bother her after a while, and she wasn't able to eat any of the delicious birthday cupcakes. Ah well, hopefully she'll understand it a little better by the time her own birthday rolls around next September.

This year, we went on a hike up Millcreek Canyon to Dog Lake with the whole family. The five of us trekked through the gorgeous yellow-leaved aspens, though Olivia slept the whole time strapped to Bob's chest. It was pleasant to reach the top and enjoy what will most likely be the last dog swimming session of the year.

Now there's snow on the ground, and the leaves are mostly fallen from the trees. So long beautiful autumn, and so long another lovely birthday for me!

Nothing Much Here

2010-10-06T12:07:00.003-06:00

Bob and the dogs on a walk.

I don't know what I want to say tonight. My baby has zits and it's raining outside.

It's been a lazy afternoon. Olivia has better things to do than sleep. She's actually surprisingly alert for blowing through her traditional 4-hour nap. So we've read lots of books and I've watched lots of Hulu as I've tried to soothe her into drowsiness.

She's smiling a lot now, but mostly not at people. She enjoys lights and fans and her butterfly rattle. She keeps growing longer and longer, though not plumping up much despite her voracious appetite.

I guess I still don't have anything else to say, but here we are.

Autumn is a Second Spring When Every Leaf is a Flower

2010-09-30T14:09:00.004-06:00

Olivia is getting ready for the cooler weather by donning her favorite beanie!

I love the fall; it's the best season. Autumn smells of cinnamon and pumpkin and freshly sharpened pencils and crisp coolness. Autumn is full of incredible colors, greens and yellows and reds and oranges. Autumn is when the coolest people are born (e.g. Olivia, me).

This September just flew by, probably because of the whole having-a-newborn thing, and I feel like I need to really take advantage of the fall before it's gone in a flurry of snowflakes. It's Olivia's first Fall, and I feel like she needs to enjoy it, though I'm not sure how to facilitate that when she can't hold her head up on her own yet. Perhaps we'll go for a Fall drive next week.

I really want her to enjoy all of the things that I love. I read her books every day, hoping she'll pick up my love of reading. (Speaking of that, having a newborn is great for reading, I'm blowing through lots of books during feedings and late night rockings!) I play and sing for her music that I love. Under close supervision, we play with the dogs. We go on walks outside, drives to beautiful places, and she's even been on a couple of hikes. I hope that when she grows up, we'll be able to enjoy some amazing things together, while still allowing her to be her own person.

Well, I'm off for now, I guess I should go make an apple pie or something!

A Tender Look Which Becomes a Habit

2010-09-23T11:24:00.003-06:00

Maggie and Olivia (and Butterfly Rattle) Wish You a Good Day.

Back in June, we got a phone call from our case worker. A prospective birth couple wanted to meet us, and we went to what I can only describe as the most intense job interview ever. We found out a few days later that they had chosen us, and that we were going to be parents to a (presumably) beautiful baby girl. Olivia's birth parents are great people that we loved getting to know.

I have a hard time describing our relationship to Olivia's birth parents, it seems so unique. We became acquainted in such an intensely personal way in a very brief time period. I think of them as closer than friends, more like family. And from the very beginning, for merely considering us as potential parents of the incredible baby they were placing for adoption, we loved them. Now that she is born, I can see we won't ever have the same sort of relationship, but I will cherish the memories that we have and I can't wait to tell Olivia one day about the beautiful path she took to us and the wonderful people that made it possible.

It's hard not to see the hand of God in a scenario like ours. Olivia is our baby, she is meant to be in our family. These truths have been testified to us over and over again in incredibly beautiful ways. We are so lucky. And Olivia is so lucky, she is loved by so many people!

Night Is a World Lit By Itself

2010-09-13T12:52:00.004-06:00

I've been spending more time up in the middle of the night lately. I used to love that time when the world was sleeping and I was up reading or writing or taking melancholy self-portraits. Then I grew to loathe the hours after midnight and before the dawn, if I was up it meant sleep-deprivation the next day. The classes would be hard to sit through or I would need an extra jolt of caffeine to stay alert during the monotonous commute. I became a crepuscular being, enjoying the dusk and dawn the most. I loved driving eastward to work as the sun slowly creeped over the Wasatch range, violent colors of the day's birth streaking the sky.

Now I've come to love the middle of the night once more. I have nowhere to be at 7 am, I can nap if I want to. At first Olivia loved being awake then, staring and grasping. Now she just likes to chug her bottle in peace while I gently rock her and read. The wind often blows and I sit in comfortable silence and think about the turn my life has suddenly taken.

Olivia and I sent Bob back to work today, he was at the end of his paternity leave. It's just the four of us now, and everyone seems to be napping by me. I think they're on to something, the middle of the night is so much more interesting than the middle of the afternoon.

(By four of us I mean me, Olivia, and the dogs Maggie and Sammi.)

Announcement!

2010-09-09T17:05:00.002-06:00

This weekend, a miracle occurred. Olivia Jocelyn Fawson was born, and a few days later she came to live with us. She came from a loving and beautiful pair of birth parents, and though her journey is irregular, we know that she was meant to be in our family.

I'm sure I'll have loads more to talk about in this vein, but for now I'm feeling a tad sleep deprived. So I bid you adieu, fair reader, with this brief but important announcement of the birth of a beautiful baby girl.

The Times They Are a Changin'

2010-08-23T16:25:00.003-06:00

Bob and I in front of the Gloriette at the Scheonbrun Palace in Vienna (May 2010). One of two pictures we have from this entire trip where we are both in the frame.

This is going to be one of those posts that you, loyal readers, all hate. The kind of post where I allude to the very real fact that amazing, astounding, and life-changing things are happening to me, and then I don't tell you what is going on with me.

It's true. Stay tuned, and expect incredible news in the next two weeks (give or take). I hope to renew regular posting, but I've broken such promises in the past.

In the Air Tonight

2010-01-26T21:56:00.004-07:00

I'm listening to Phil Collins (don't ask) and feeling lonely. Bob has started travelling again, and thus I descend into the interminable nights when I sit alone in our empty house talking to the dogs and watching Hulu until I finally fall asleep. It's nights like this that remind me of high school, sitting on my dad's iMac late into the night chatting with friends on the internet, discovering new music, taking baths, and reading Tolstoy. I thought those days were the beginning of something great. I knew I'd fall in love with a musician (and had one in mind), and I figured the rest of my life would be a continuation in kind.

I've always enjoyed alone time. Time to sit and think and read and please no one but myself. It has been quite a while since I felt like I could do that. I felt like the second the music/tv/book stopped, was the second my mind would start playing it's slideshow of pity, something I have to desire to live through. So I would constantly barrage myself with media in an attempt to (not in a scary way) drown out the voices in my head. And you know what I've found? It's harder to avoid than to actually feel and remember and think and sulk. It hasn't made me weaker.

Hello Cassandra, it's nice to hear from you again. It's been a long time.

Next goals: Forgiveness, Honesty.

Public Service Announcement: I learned a lot from my visit to a hospital's micro lab today, but most importantly, vaccinate your kids. Seriously, vaccinate them. Protect me from short Southern women, and vaccinate them.

New Year: New You

2010-01-18T12:14:00.004-07:00

A classic shot of Bob eating. This time it's pizza from Settebello on New Year's Eve.

2010 has already begun flying by at the speed of light. Bob and I have been bitten with the classic resolution bug, deciding to reorganize our lives, starting with finishing our basement remodel and moving our furniture around. We will (soonish) no longer have a man-den, so hopefully all manish clutter will remain in the garage. Women don't create clutter, didn't you hear?

I recently read, The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. I recommend it wholeheartedly for anyone interested in organizing, or otherwise improving the happiness they receive from day to day. I found it extremely enlightening.

I'm excited for 2010, and I'm going to try dreaming again. We'll see how it pans out for me.

The Fifth Dimension

2009-09-07T22:13:00.005-06:00

I was rereading the book Wrinkle in Time by Madeline L'Engle this afternoon as a part of the book club I am in with my little brother, Chet. I read the book several times when I was a young girl, feeling very intelligent as I felt understood the basics of tessarects and wormhole travel through time and space. Rereading it opened up a world of thoughts and concepts, proving that children are habitually indoctrinated without their knowledge for years. For instance, I had no idea that the antagonist was, essentially, communism.

Additionally, I was pleased to find that the book had many delicious nuggets of wisdom, and one which I particularly enjoyed:

"'You mean you're comparing our lives to a sonnet? A strict form, but freedom within it?'

'Yes,' Mrs. Whatsit said. 'You're given the form, but you have to write the sonnet yourself. What you say is completely up to you.'"

This passage particularly resonated within me. It's true that things happen to us all the time, good and bad, but it's what we make of the hand we are dealt that makes us who we are. What good is a window that's never stood up to a hurricane or allowed golden rays of sunlight to pour through?

I was glad for the reminder.

Shrinkage

2009-07-28T19:50:00.003-06:00

Maggie and Chet on a hike in the Uintahs. Both are very interested in that sandwich.

I've been reading a book on psychotherapy and it's caused me a lot of retrospection, especially about my own sojourn in therapy, which I quit surreptitiously a month or so ago after six months of sessions. I both hated and loved therapy, and while it certainly didn't 'heal' me or erase any of the hurt I have gone through, at least it made me confront issues I would generally avoid, to my detriment.

Bob recommended that I see a therapist, though he has little faith in them. He noted that I felt better when I talked about what I was going through, and we both agreed that a professional could do no harm, that could perhaps help.

Did she help? Yeah, I think so. I still struggle though. I struggle with bitterness, with acceptance, with forgiveness, with faith, with hope. Somedays I feel so small in the face of all of my shortcomings. But somedays I feel the sun on my skin and smile just for the sake of being alive in the world. I don't remember having that for ages, before I began therapy.

So if it's been a while since you smiled to yourself over nothing at all, since you thought about how great your life was, since you did a kind deed for someone else; maybe it's time for you to think about talking to someone about your struggles.

It helped me, maybe it could help you too.

2009-07-14T19:18:00.002-06:00

A Man and His Dogs

Last week, for his birthday, Bob and I went to a concert at the amphitheater on the mountain at Sundance. We sat and watched as three singer/songwriters discussed their lives and the years they had spent pouring their souls into their music. As I watched one women in particular tell us the story of her difficult years through the intensity, I found myself wishing that I had some outlet like songwriting that would enable me to internalize my feelings and express them in a healthy way.

It was then that I resolved to write more often. We'll see if I can follow through with it this time.

Routine

2009-07-06T20:59:00.004-06:00

I love a good chick flick. I love the nascent flirtations, the beginnings of romance, the inklings that someone would be specifically designed for someone else. I love the concept of soulmates.

There's another reason that I love a good chick flick. It's the reason that I can watch ridiculous teen dramas (e.g. The O.C., Gilmore Girls, Gossip Girl) back to back as un-ironically as possible; a chick flick is predictable, formulaic even. It's like a warm cup of cocoa on a cold winter's night. I'll give you an example:

A boy meets girl, but something comes in between their love. Perhaps they are business enemies (You've Got Mail), they are from different classes (Ever After), or perhaps it just takes them forever to figure out they love each other (Clueless, He's Just Not That Into You). Then comes some drama, maybe he professes his unrequited love (Pride and Prejudice), he decides to marry someone else (Made of Honor, My Best Friend's Wedding), or he tries to arrest you for murdering your sister's creepy boyfriend and then bringing him back to life and killing him again (Practical Magic). Despite it all, they will get together in the end (expect for the crappy chick flicks in which they won't get together) and we live happily ever after.

See what I'm saying, it's like an old comfortable pair of pants you've worn in perfectly and will never get rid of, even though they stopped looking cute years ago.

I love a good chick flick.

Ten Years

2009-04-20T20:45:00.003-06:00

The Guardhouse at the Top of Machu Picchu. (Yeah, I'm posting new pictures one at a time to give my fellow readers something to look forward to.)

As I turned on my computer this morning and fired up my RSS reader, I was surprised to read the news that today was the tenth anniversary of the shootings at Columbine. As the day went on and everyone chatted about their surprise so much time had passed and the discussions about what everyone remembered about that day I had a lot of things flash through my mind I hadn't thought about in years.

I was an eighth grader living in the suburbs of Denver at the time, I was attending middle school on April 20, 1999. I remember the lunch room, and looking up at the clock at 11:20. Later we learned that was the time that the shooters entered the high school, but I was just checking to see how much time I had to finish my Chick-Fil-A chicken nuggets. (Yeah, my middle school had fast food, didn't yours?)

That afternoon I was sitting in English. The principal came to the classroom door and murmured something to my teacher Ms Byrne (Known for her tough classes, short skirts, and love of the Denver Broncos. She would give you an A regardless of your performance if you got her something signed by a member of the team.) It was a warm spring day and she had her outside door open. She slammed it shut, locked it, and sat down at her desk looking shaken.

The rest of the day I remember in bits and pieces. I remember sitting on the bus staring out at the pond by my house wondering exactly what this would mean for me. I remember my mother's face and her nearly painful hug as I walked in from school. I remember I was wearing overalls with chapstick in the front pocket. (Yeah, and I'm sure they were sexy too.) I remember friends and relatives calling in from around the country to make sure that we were all okay.

What I remember most, and what has had the greatest impact, is what happened next. My school went under lockdown for the rest of the school year. Armed policemen (with big guns I remember) stood at the entrances and if you entered the school during school hours you had to ring a doorbell and the policemen got to scrutinize you, even if you were just coming in from a run with the rest of your gym class. I remember schools closing at a moment's notice due to bomb threats, things that were no longer stupid jokes by seniors. I remember walking the grounds at Columbine, visiting the grassy hills I had seen students fleeing from on television days earlier. We brought white flowers, and I got to see my childhood hero, Stone Phillips. I vividly remember the school sign's message, "GO BAND".

Mostly though, I remember the fear. School was always a safe place, though at times it could be scary if you had done something wrong or had a verbal report to present, but it was never dangerous. I had never had to worry about my fellow students or anything so raw as guns and bombs. School was not safe, life was not safe; a difficult concept for a thirteen-year-old to process.

I learned a lot of lessons in the aftermath of that Spring day. It was my first real interaction with mortality and the reality of life, something that I have since become intimately familiar with. There was a lot of speculation that the boys were angry because of their music, their video games, their movies, their parents, their bullies; and I understand the need to find a cause and fix the catalyst that would cause two children to mercilessly kill their classmates; but there is no way to comprehend some things that happen in our lives. They are senseless, mind-blowing, life-changing, and we must have faith that somehow there is a plan for all of us and that we don't need to have all of the answers, because someone else does.

My blog posts have all been quite heavy as of late... I suppose it's because I'm down and working through some stuff. I'll try and post some more uplifting things soonish.

The Sacred Valley

2009-04-14T19:55:00.003-06:00

Me at the Sacred Valley of the Incas.

Last month we commemorated the year anniversary of the passing of my sister Jocie. It was a sad day, but mostly it was happy. As with most of these events, the anticipation is usually much worse than the day itself; I dealt with most of my demons earlier in the week. It was happy because my family made it to the one year mark, changed people, but we made it. I found the aftermath of "Jocie's accident" as my mother calls it, strange and hollow initially but now that's come to be normal. It's become normal to have an even boy/girl ratio in my family, normal to watch my parents cry, normal to have a nagging feeling when we're together that someone isn't there. Because she isn't. But even that is becoming normal. A depressing normal, but one that we need to come to terms with nonetheless.

I feel obligated in some ways to talk about these things because it's good for me, but also because I know that there are people out there suffering with loss in all of its forms; whether it's loss of a sister, friend, pet, or just a lost dream; regardless I think that the only way to get through these unthinkably difficult times is to reach out to our friends and family and to let them help shoulder the burden when we have become broken under its weight.

Unbelievably, not all that has come out of this accident is sorrowful. Most notably, my relationship with my sister Dione has changed in ways I never would have imagined before. We've always been like oil and water, as different in personalities as we are in looks, though most wouldn't realize it because we act the same in public. Now we have no choice, we have to make it work. I was sick a couple of weeks ago and Bob was out of town; Dione heard from my mother and dropped everything, driving through a blinding snowstorm to sit up the night with me before leaving early the next morning to make it to her classes. I know that we loved each other before, but I don't think that either of us would have made such a sacrifice, such a gesture. Now we appreciate our relationship; we've both lost a sister.

We've had one hell of a year, but we're still here. The relationships that weathered the storm are stronger now than ever. We are more honest, less willing to play games, and we end our conversations with "I love you." You never know when you're not going to be able to say it again.

I still have days where I can't breathe because I miss her so much, but those are spreading further and further apart, and mostly I just think about how great she was and how much I miss having her around. I don't think that I will ever stop missing her, or mourning her. I don't think there's any way to "return to normal," but there is a way to move forward. I also don't think I'll ever fully resolve the 'why' of such a senseless tradgedy, at least not in this life. But I've come to terms with that, most days anyway.

If you're ever struggling with loss or grief or know someone who is and would like to help them, I'd love to be there for you like so many people were for me. I'd love to earn the mitzvah.

Cuzco-topia!

2009-04-12T19:08:00.009-06:00

Last month, Bob and I took another jet-setting adventure. This time, we went to Peru. It's taken me forever to blog about this because a lot of crap happened, and then I just got lazy. I'm not going to lie to you folks, it just wouldn't be fair.

This is a picture of the main square in Cuzco with a view of the main Cathedral. The base of this and many other buildings in Cuzco are remains of the orignal Incan temples/houses. The Spanish came, conquered the Incans, gave many of the natives smallpox, and destroyed their buildings, putting their own directly on the previous foundations. Stupid Europeans.

These are the ruins of an elaborate fort right outside the city of Cuzco called Sacsayhuamán (pronounced sort of like sexy woman). The only stones left are those that the Spanish couldn't carry off.

Machu Picchu as you first come upon it. This is definitely the most incredible place I've ever been, there was a really cool vibe about it and the place was shrouded in mystery. I suppose the clouds that habitually roll in over the mountaintops do a lot to help said mystery. Also, we hiked to the top of that mountain in the background, the one half covered in clouds. It was awesome.

We have hundreds of pictures, but I don't really have the heart to search through them all for my very favorites. If you want to see more, I guess you'll have to invite us over for dinner, or do the pop-in!

Blogging is theraputic, I'm glad to be back.

Ramblings of an Ancient Courier

2009-02-09T19:03:00.002-07:00

I dropped my car off today at the dealership to get it serviced, and got a ride home from a nice man named Carl. He instantly struck up a conversation with me about the weather, which transitioned into his former job at ARUP, which transitioned into his quitting a job at a printing company, which then further transitioned into a long discussion of his prostate cancer and the various types of radiation he had been through. In the course of a fifteen-minute car ride, I knew a fairly extensive medical history; some personal struggles, including the fact that he can't give up smoking even though he's on oxygen, his work history, a little bit about the rigors of high-dose radiation therapy on your prostate, though I personally lack one, and how nice his trailer is, you know, the one he has up behind Pineview.

In fifteen minutes, I knew an incredible amount of information, and he knew literally nothing about me besides the obvious (e.g. woman, Toyota-owner, blonde). I have a harder time opening up to people, I have this strange desire to keep everything personal about myself a huge secret. I like to think that I'm just more self-dependent, but rather I think that it's just some sort of personal failing on my part.

The Carls in the world tend to overshare, but no one wonders when they are hurting or need an extra hug. When he's around, they know what his issues are so they can avoid saying painful or uncomfortable things. Of course, he has the opposite extreme of my problem, he has no privacy or secrets, which at some times can be a good thing.

Sometimes I feel like there's a huge cavern of feelings and experiences that I am just trying to close up in order to pretend to live a 'normal' life. What am I hiding from?

KAOS

2009-01-28T21:55:00.003-07:00

I am a planner. I like looking at a difficult schedule and laying everything out in front of me. I loved signing up for classes in college each semester, watching how they played out on paper, and eventually appreciating how they played out in real life, especially for the two years when I was able to take a full day off every week for myself. I wish I had that kind of luxury now!

So imagine my chagrin when entropy has taken a firm hold on my life. I cannot plan for an unknowable future, I cannot schedule and file and it is driving me crazy. I have grown dissatisfied, waiting and wondering and being continually disappointed. I do well with the sprint, the short-term upsets, but the long unknown waiting period, I struggle with.

I am taken measures, though, to gain control of my chaotic existence. Perhaps it is a god-complex to think that by sheer will and effort of planning, I can mold my world to follow my preconceived notions of happiness and prosperity.

I feel, and I'm sure many others feel this way, that my place in the world is tenuous. Financial, emotional, political, and social instabilities run rampant. Let us all do our best to move forward, in hopes that in doing so, we can gain some sort of stasis.

New Years Resolutions...

2009-01-05T18:34:00.009-07:00

Wow, a whole year has passed since 2008 began, and now I find myself making nearly the same resolutions as I did twelve months ago... One of them at least is new though, I plan to take at least one picture a day for the whole year. I almost missed a day, but got away on a technicality, I took a picture with someone else's camera, and I'm going to count it!

January 1 - Bob and Sammi at our New Year's Eve Party (Can you spot Dave in the background?), we had a lot of fun preventing Sammi from eating various foods, children, and precious children's toys.

January 2 - Bob and Mike with their tough-men beards. It seems to be impossible for Bob to keep his eyes open during a picture. Where's your beard-card, Mike?!

January 3- This is the day when I didn't take a picture with my own camera, so I include here a picture of Sammi during our Christmas break. We were about to head out snowshoeing and I dressed Sammi in her new sweater (made by myself), though she got quite cold anyways.

January 4 - Now that we have church at nine, we have reclaimed our Sunday afternoons! This is Bob hiking in the foothills behind Draper, where the dogs are free to get lost as much as they want.

January 5 - Bob's stuck in Utah Valley due to inclement weather, so I pulled out the self-portrait card tonight. I think I thought that was a coy smile at the time...

Travels

2008-12-13T09:11:00.008-07:00

I've been away for work in San Antonio the past few days, and then Bob left this morning for Belgium (I think he's there as a waffle evaluator...) so blogging has taken a back seat. But I'm taking advantage of this weekend to get on top of all of my internet tasks, and to get Maggie & Sammi to update their own blog (They're so lazy when I'm not around!).

I here include a few pictures from this Thanksgiving with the Fawsons. We went shotgun shooting up in Logan Canyon. Maggie is a great bird dog, and Sammi nearly crapped her pants.

Here is Bob shooting, Chris throwing the clay pigeons, and Aunt Annie looking on.

A lovely Thanksgiving tree.

Heather, watching while the boys get the guns ready for some serious shooting!

Carter and Scott full of Testosterone.

Afternoon Delight

2008-11-26T16:17:00.002-07:00

We went searching for ghost towns a few weeks ago in the Oquirrh Mountains, and here is Sammi, freaking out to be out of the truck and into the wilderness. (Note the 'No Trespassing' sign in the background.)

It feels nice to be out in the mountains enjoying the fresh air and the fall scenery before winter finally surrounds us. Usually I'm excited for fall to relinquish its brief and tenuous hold on Utah, but this year I'm nervous for winter to come around. I don't feel like I'm ready to make the decisions that winter brings with it, I'm unprepared to face the snow and the holidays and the changes. Winter seems like a snowball, deftly gathering speed as it rolls, until it has grown larger than life and is ready to engulf us all.

But maybe it is like many things in life, the anticipation is the worst part of the game. Perhaps this year winter will mean only pleasant trips to sunny places, perfect powder days, and hot cocoa at the close of it all. I'm trying to be optimistic, is it working?

Regardless, I am thankful for all of the love and support I feel on a daily basis. I'm grateful for my life, my loved ones, and my gifts; and though I may wish for some things to be different, I would never want to trade places with anyone.

Happy Ho Ho Turkey Day!

Adorable Fix

2008-11-11T07:57:00.001-07:00

Isn't this the cutest picture ever? Bob and our friends' son Grant at a wedding we attended recently. It's your adorable fix for the day.

Tagged

2008-11-10T07:40:00.004-07:00

Fine, fine. 6 quirky things you didn't know you didn't know about me.

1. I am interviewed on talk shows all of the time.... in my head. I have been interviewed by all sorts of people on the majority of the major networks about my recent bestselling book, a friend/family member's recent medical breakthrough, or giving my opinion on some recent news event. Lately most of these interviews occur during my commute to work, luckily I no longer carpool with anyone as I usually conduct my side of the interview out loud.

2. I love to watch television on my iPod or laptop while I'm doing anything; gardening, cooking dinner, cleaning the bathroom, folding laundry. I watch a lot of shows...

3. I am currently growing my hair out until it is long enough to cover my chest like in those jean commercials where the girls have no shirts on and only really awesome jeans. I'm getting there, but I still have a few months to go. At this point I have no future plans for my hair.

4. I cannot set alarms for round numbers (ends in 5 or 0). If a recipe calls for something to be cooked for 30 minutes, I'll set a timer for 28. My alarm this morning went off at 5:27.

5. I talk to my dogs. A lot. Especially when Bob is out of town. I discuss with them what to cook for dinner, what they thought about the latest Gossip Girl episode, and whether or not they think that it will rain. If Sammi is in a particularly quirky mood, she will howl back at me while Maggie squeaks her 'Wubba.'

6. I love hanging out with people, but I have severe hermit tendencies. I'll get huge anxiety before any party I'm about to attend and when confronted with new people, my default is to close up on myself and go AWOL. I feel like a huge introvert, though I do my best to hide it.

Ta da! I don't really feel like tagging anyone right now. Maybe next time...

Halloween 2008

2008-11-03T17:16:00.012-07:00

My work goes all out for Halloween, so some friends and I rose to the challenge. This year we won the group costume competition for our rendition of the Seven Deadly Sins.

From left to right: Wrath (Haleigh), Pride (Sarah), Gluttony (Jamey), Sloth (Kaylyn), Lust (Kelly), Greed (me), Envy (Kiki).

A close-up on me as Greed! I was repeatedly mistaken for Paris Hilton. Close enough, I suppose.

Is this the cutest little Frankenstein you have ever seen? He enjoys bossing around the dogs, and they enjoy trying to steal his candies.

San Juan Island Pictures

2008-10-27T16:06:00.007-06:00

For this week's pictures I'm going to highlight a few of my more artistic shots from our Fawson Family Vacay to the San Juan Islands this past summer. It was around this time that I really started to get into photography, and I spent a lot of time on this trip trying things out, seeing what worked and what didn't. Here are a few of my favorites.

From the clothesline in the backyard of the house we rented.

The lavender farm. This place smelled incredible.

The Lime Kiln State Park where we were whale-watching. Obviously there were no whales to watch when this picture was taken.

Fence outside our house.

A barn next to our house.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-10-21T06:48:00.012-06:00

Once again it is October 21, and my birthday! To commemorate my twenty-three years on this earth, I put together some pictures of myself for your enjoyment.
This is one of the oldest pictures I have of myself courtesy of my first digital camera which I got for my nineteenth birthday, Fall 2004. I used to love taking pictures of myself late at night and then photoshopping them. This picture, however, us untouched.

Here is one of my favorite engagement pictures, and the photo that was in the center of our announcement, Spring 2005. See how happy I look?!

My bridal pictures, Summer 2005. I was told to spin. When I concentrate I tend to stick out my tongue. I guess spinning in a dress and train is pretty difficult stuff!

Skiing at Beaver Mountain, Winter 2005. Look how awesome that powder looks in the background! The sun is very shiny, that's why my eyes are shut, I have a hard time with shiny.

Summer 2006 we went to nearly all of the national parks/state parks in Utah and several surrounding states. This is a hike in one of those parks, don't ask me which. I believe the gray mass behind me was a 'salt upheaval.'

This is me graduating from college, Spring 2007! That hat was seriously bugging.

Here I am at a Vietnamese optometrist getting fit for ridiculously cheap 'Gucci' glasses, Summer 2007. This is how they determined my prescription. Do you see how shiny I am? It was so hot and humid there, and no air-con anywhere!

This is me at Hamilton's restaurant a couple of weeks ago, Fall 2008. I'm telling my dad how to operate my camera, don't I look lovely?

Thank you for that trip through memory lane, and I hope this next year brings new and wonderful things. And if you see me today, you should sing me a song.

Fawsonberger Candy Tournament 2008 - Round 5, Final Round

2008-10-19T09:41:00.005-06:00

Note: Read the archives for the first four rounds of this tournament. Start here.

About this time we realized that the sweater that Sammi had been wearing all night was covered in her own urine, and that Bob had been cuddling with her for an hour and hadn't noticed. Perhaps it was the candy talking, but I found that fact hilarious.

We had travelled long and hard and been ridiculed by grocery store employees, we had skipped dinner and meaningful sustenance, we had endured heart-ache and stomachache all for this moment, the final two competitors!

Skor vs. Starburst - We slowly savored these last two bits of candy, recognizing that they would be the last in what had become a long journey. As was to be expected, I voted for Starburst and Jamey voted for Skor. Tiebreaker went to Dave. We asked Bob was his vote would be, as a matter of curiosity, and he said Skor. Dave pondered his decision for a long time. A really long time, Grant was tired and kept going to the door, trying to unlock it, and saying, "Outside!" Eventually, he decided on Starburst.

Ta Da! We did it! We are incredible!

Here I am, considering the near impossible choice of the final two candies.

In the aftermath of the tournament the four of us seem stunned that Starbursts could have won. It was highly unpredictable, and I think that says that we performed our duties as unbiasedly as would could. I highly recommend you to gather up a group of three to five people and create your own candy tournament, though expect craziness to occur and you to leave considerably heavier than when you began!!! Thanks for sticking with me through this life-changing journey.

Fawsonberger Candy Tournament 2008 - Round 4

2008-10-18T09:16:00.004-06:00

Note: Read Round 1, Round 2, and Round 3 before reading this round.

We're down to the final four candies, Caramello, Skor, Gummy Worms, and Starburst. Interestingly enough, no matter who wins in these rounds we were going to end up with a chocolate candy fighting a non-chocolate candy. Also, Grant started freaking out so we turned on the movie WALL-E for him, which he loved and kept he and Bob occupied for the rest of the night.

Caramello vs. Skor - As always, I voted against the Skor bar for the lovely creamy Caramello bar, and Jamey voted for it. Dave was the tie-breaker and after much consideration, he voted for the Skor bar. Incredibly, the Skor bar has made it into the final two without my ever having voted for it!

Gummy Worms vs. Starburst - These were both delicious candies. I ate half of my Starburst, and dropped the other half accidentally in my glass of water! (Which was approximately my seventh glass of water as my body attempted to digest unholy amounts of sugar.) I voted for the Starburst and Jamey voted for the Gummy Worms. The tie-breaker went to Bob this time and though Gummy Worms are one of his all time favorite candies, he voted for Starburst. We have our final two!

Bob and Grant eating loser candies and watching WALL-E together. Also note that Sammi, on Bob's lap, is wearing a sweater.

This is Jamey feeling quite sick as we approach the final four.

Fawsonberger Candy Tournament 2008 - Round 3

2008-10-17T16:07:00.006-06:00

Note: Please read this entry third after the First Round and the Second Round entries.

After the second round, we were feeling great, and totally high on sugar. Everything was hilarious and the candy seemed sweeter as we dove into judging the Elite Eight...

York vs. Caramello - I voted for Caramello and anticipated a tie-breaker, knowing of Jamey's love of anything (including feces) covered in mint. But Jamey blew all of our minds when she went with Caramello....

Skor vs. Nibs - Of course this round went into tiebreaker. Jamey voted for Skor, and I voted against. For the first time, Bob was able to judge a Skor round, and he was stunned by the crunchy-buttery goodness of the center. He hands-down voted for Skor.

Whatchamacallit vs. Gummy Worms - The Whatchamacallit had an incredible go of it, what with its flavor explosion, but didn't stand a chance against Gummy Worms.

Starburst vs. Jr. Mint - This was a bad round for mints as Jamey again abandoned her love and Starburst reigned triumphant.

David Hulsberg, Tie-breaker extraordinaire is thoughtfully considering the choices before him.

Yeah, I told you. Sugar High. Here I am attempting to eat the Tournament Bracket.

Stay tuned for the final two rounds of the candy tournament!!!!!

Fawsonberger Candy Tournament 2008 - Round 2

2008-10-16T18:22:00.006-06:00

Note: If you have yet to read the blog post before about the first round of the candy tournament, please start there for clarity's sake.

Between rounds one and two, we attempted to start a game of Risk. But Grant was having none of it and threw all the pieces around like only a nearly-two-year-old can. So after a little bit of playing and a lot of cleaning, we dove straight into round two!

Milk Duds vs. York - This was a tough competition, but York came up triumphantly!

Caramello vs. Peanut M&M's - Caramello was delicious. We were both big fans of the caramelly goodness of this chocolate treat. Onward you go!

Snickers vs. Skor - Once again I voted against Skor and Jamey voted for it (Seeing a trend yet?), in tie-breaker Dave was in love with the buttery-chocolatey deliciousness of the Skor bar.

KitKat vs. Nibs - How could KitKat, with it's chocolate and wafer, stand a chance against the delicious bite-sized amazingness of the red licorice Nibs? It couldn't and it didn't.

Whatchamacallit vs. Peanut Butter M&M's - Whatchamacallit? You are so delicious and a surprising contender in this battle. See ya later PBMMs!

Gummy Worms vs. Mr. Goodbar - We all know that Mr. Goodbar made it into the second round only by a fluke and it did not fare well against the Gummy Worms.

Almond Joy vs. Starburst - Oh Almond Joy, you're incredible! However in this instance, Starbursts were the champions.

Charleston Chew vs. Junior Mint - Tiebreaker needed for this round as well! Junior Mint was decided to be the winner as the tiebreaker declared that "Charleston Chews are gross."

The second round contenders are piled neatly in pairs (Thanks to Dave and his OCD!), while the losers are heaped behind in a pile of sadness and destruction. Also note the hopeful yet naive placement of the Risk board.

Here is Jamey, recording the results of the second round of competition for posterity and for blog-erity.

What will happen in Round 3??? Stay tuned to find out.

Fawsonberger Candy Tournament 2008 - Round 1

2008-10-15T21:02:00.005-06:00

I was recently reading the October edition of The Plug in which two contributors undergo a candy tournament. After reading the tournament's outcome and discussing it with my friend Jamey, we decided to undergo a tourney of our own and see who the true candy champion is. This is a documentation of the first round of that tournament.... (Competitors were drawn randomly out of a hat.)

Milk Dud's vs. Reese's - A tie in our first competition! Tiebreaker went to Dave, since Bob was eating dinner. He chose Milk Dud's for their in your face taste.

Skittles vs. York - York. Hands down, this was an easy one.

Nerds vs. Nibs - Nibs. We're on a roll now!

Tootsie Roll vs. Caramello - Caramello wins for it's smooth caramel center and overall satisfaction levels.

Peanut M&M vs. Heath - This one went into tie-breaker where Bob, after much deliberation, chose Peanut M&M's.

3 Musketeers vs. Snickers - Those 3 Musketeers ran straight back to France after this football branded Snickers kicked them out of the ballpark. (Do you like my mixed sports metaphors?)

Skor vs. Sugar Babies - I voted against Skor, Jamey voted for. In tie-breaker, Skor was the easy winner.

Swedish Fish vs. KitKat - Here we diverge for the history of the name KitKat, and KitKat wins.

Whatchamacallit - We both randomly got green Dots, but they didn't hold up to the hidden joy of the Whatchamacallit!

Butterfinger vs. Peanut Butter M&M's - This round went into tie-breaker... Peanut Butter M&M's reign triumphantly!

Gummy Worms vs. SweetTarts - I got a blue tart, Jamey got a red one; but still the gummy/i trumped!

Twix vs. Mr. Goodbar - Mr. Goodbar only made it into this round because it is Bob's favorite candy, though quite disgusting. Incidentally, there was something wrong with the Twix bar, so the vote was unanimously Mr. Goodbar.

Almond Joy vs. Nutroll - Almond Joy, easy peasy.

100 Grand vs. Starburst - The Starburst were the blue 'California' flavors, and easily defeated the 100 Grand bar.

PayDay vs. Charleston Chew - Mmmmm.... Charleston Chew! Better frozen, but still enough to beat the PayDay.

Jr. Mint vs. Good & Plenty - G&P's, one of my all time favorite candies, but mint is Jamey's lover. So it went into a tiebreaker round.... Where Bob betrayed me by voting for Jr. Mints.

Here is Grant, ridiculously happy to be eating the loser candies. (Only Dots did he call candy, and he dropped Nerds around him everywhere. Needless to say, my dogs followed him like slaves all night long.)

Here we have Jamey and Dave with the empty tournament bracket. They are obviously ecstatic to have a night of binge candy eating ahead of them...

Check soon for the next round of the candy tournament!!!

The Many Faces of.....DEAN GARLICK

2008-10-12T21:54:00.006-06:00

If you haven't heard my dad's patented answering machine greeting call him or call me up and we'll be happy to give you a demonstration.

The Garlick family was out for the first annual Jiggy Day Celebration. (A day in which you give in to all of your material desires, dress like fools (e.g. checkered tights), give away ridiculous presents, and enjoy yourself. Catch it next October 8th!) I asked my dad to pose for the camera without using his classic 'smile.'

"Smile for the camera, dahling!"

"Serious! Now let's see serious."

"Angry face! Oh, that's fierce."

Ah, cheap thrills. Hamilton's restaurant, October 8, 2008.

Bobalicious!

2008-10-07T12:46:00.002-06:00

Bob has been in the Philippines on business for the last 2-3 weeks, and he's getting home tonight! There are a lot of reasons that I'm excited for him to come home, but here are are few:

1. I'm tired of taking care of the yard things like mowing the lawn and deciphering the aged sprinkling system.

2. Maggie and Sammi get off their game when he's gone waking up many times in the night to protect me with their ferocious barking.

3. The house gets spooky when it's just me and two edgy dogs.

4. No one's around to give me a back rub or cuddle with me!

5. I miss his classic Bobisms and hilarious songs.

I heart Bobby! Watch for him flying in a sky near you.

No Paranthesis

2008-10-06T22:22:00.003-06:00

Brighton, Top o' Millicent Lift, February 2008. We got dirty looks from lifties for this picture.

since feeling is first

who pays any attention to the syntax of things

while Spring is in the world

my blood approves,

and kisses are a far better fate

than wisdom

lady i swear by all flowers. Don't cry

--the best gesture of my brain is less than

your eyelids' flutter which says

we are for eachother: then

laugh, leaning back in my arms

for life's not a paragraph

And death i think is no parenthesis

--e e cummings

Celebration, Jiggy Style

2008-09-29T20:12:00.006-06:00

This past weekend I gathered, along with many friends, family, and relative strangers; to celebrate the life of my sister, Jocie Garlick, and the birth of a memorial on top of Beaver Mountain. I haven't written a lot about what happened to my family six months ago, in part because this is a very public forum for such personal details, but mostly because I don't think that I am ready to. The emotions are still too raw to internalize and then spit out in the manner I usually employ for my writings. I think about writing about it, about her, about the aftermath, all the time; I suppose that's good enough for now.

During the program, Jocie's closest friends let go of 99 (give or take, I heard a lot of popping noises) red balloons. I didn't get to see much of this part of the program, as in the moment this picture was taken, Dione and I started performing 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' (With both of us singing and I on guitar, brave I know.). I had given my camera to Heady, Bob's sister, and she took this, as well as many other incredible pictures. I just love the look on these girls' faces. It makes me cry and smile at the same time.

I also include this self-portrait of Heather 'Heady' Fawson. A word for the wise, if you want lovely pictures taken while you're busy, give your camera to Heather. But beware, it will come back with several self-portraits, and undoubtably, a picture of Jayme Champlin in there too. (I think this is the corner of her head here. That blonde bit right by the sky there.)

Battery Bob

2008-09-21T21:05:00.002-06:00

This is a picture of Bob sitting on a park bench in Battery Park, at the southern tip of Manhattan during our recent trip to New York at the beginning of September. We were on our way to the Statue of Liberty/Ellis Island when I insisted on taking a bunch of pictures and Bob sat down to Crackberry.

POW!

2008-09-17T21:08:00.003-06:00

I have decided to instigate a 'picture of the week' for my blog. This week's picture is from our trip last August to the San Juan Islands with the rest of the Fawson clan. I took this on our sunset kayaking ride, which was amazing. As is often the case, the picture does not do the scene justice.

9/11

2008-09-12T08:35:00.005-06:00

I would have to echo the sentiments of several other blogs I recently read about 9/11 and the shock that seven years have slipped past. I remember sitting in early morning seminary and turning on the tv when only one plane had hit and then watching, mainly in confusion, as a second plane wrapped around to hit the second tower. I remember sitting in Soffe's class first hour and watching him sit on the table in the front of the room, Birkenstocked-feet dangling, crying. I remember not understanding how to feel or what impact this would really have on my 15-year-old high school world.

Bob and I were in New York last week and we went to the 9/11 memorial museum next to Ground Zero. If you're ever in the Big Apple, I would reccomend stopping by, it was an incredibly powerful place. They had giant beams from the towers, twisted like garbage bag ties from the heat and the pressure. There were cases full of things found at in the wreckage, like a menu from the bar on the top floor, two guns melted together, a laptop bag mostly intact from a floor above 100, and a battered fireman's helmet. What struck me the most, however, was a giant wall filled entirely with missing posters. All were handmade, with snapshots from some birthday party or recent vacation, and filled with details that betrayed the emotions of those searching. Answers to the nickname of Teddy; beautiful blue/green eyes; wearing a charcoal tailored pantsuit; if found please call one of these five numbers. It made me sick to my stomach and I stood there in an unfamiliar city standing next to the man I love, feeling the pain of the city, and wondering what it felt like to be there when it was in mourning.

As we left, Bob whispered to me, "After seeing all of this, I want to go bomb some terrorists." So did I, Bobby. So did I.

Killin' Whales

2008-09-08T08:34:00.001-06:00

Watch out for the Killin' Whales, my fantasy football team this year. I expect them to succeed in ways never before dreamed of.

A Hero to One

2008-09-03T11:11:00.003-06:00

On Monday, instead of laboring, Bob and I (+ The Sceech) travelled to the place where fun is. (Hint: It's Lagoon.) We drove in under a heavy cloud cover and as we jumped out of our cars, excitement prohibiting us (alright, mostly just me) from standing still; the rain started to fall.

Soon, rain was pouring down and we ran to Wicked to hit it before the lines got long. We had no need to fear long lines, though, we waited moments before hopping on an available car and being jettisoned into oblivion, rain pelting us as we were flung about in the cold and wet. We rode all the rides, and the best ones several times.

I knew that the weather was changing for the better as we rode one particular rollar coaster and as we reached the top, pointing towards the sky, the clouds parted and the sun shone down on all of us, creating a beautiful moment. Never has the warm embrace of the sun felt so inviting, and I was regretful as we began our steep descent while Bob lifted up his hands and screamed.

Bobism: On a few rides, the rain was too strong to even keep our eyes open. Bob described the situation aptly by screaming (while upside-down), "I now know how it feels for Hellen Keller to ride a roller coaster!"

A Whale of a Trip!

2008-08-25T13:44:00.006-06:00

This past week we (Bob + I + all of Bob's immediate family + slimebaby) were up in the San Juan Islands off the coast of Washington vacationing our little hearts out. The final day approached and, though there were rumored to be 2-3 pods in residence there, we had yet to see any whales.

Heather Ann and I struck out early one morning, dedicated (read obsessed) to viewing whales before the day was out and we lost our opportunity forever! So we sat there together, our single-mindedness driving all others away as we lost perspective in our pursuit of the whales. It was then, mulling over our mammalian hopes and fears that a miracle happened. A whale-watching boat shouted to the shore that a pod of whales was on its way and would be where we were in a half-hour.

The whole family gathered together, huddled on a mass of rocks, eyes scanning the distance for tiny black specks that it seemed would never come. Finally, they came. Jumping in groups of two or three, the Orca whales seemed like something from Free Willy or Sea World. It was an incredible experience, once in a lifetime and indescribable.

Here's the best picture I was able to get, but keep in mind that I wasn't using any zoom here.

On the Road Again.....

2008-08-15T09:29:00.003-06:00

We're headed off this evening to make the long drive up to Friday Harbor, San Juan Islands. (Are you taking notes, Dione?) I expect to go on many bike rides and hikes, play lots of Nertz and Rock Band, and mostly relax.

Bob and I have not taken time off of work to relax since Christmas of 2007, and this is a much needed vacation. Life has become bogged down with many little stresses: Bob's ankle with two torn ligaments, the yard aka the weed factory, church callings that guilt you into spending valuable time attending pointless meetings, work-need I say any more, and so on and so forth. It's so easy to fill up a life with thousands of meaningless tasks and top it all off with some tv-watching. I'll be glad for the release and the lack of responsibility.

I keep telling myself these things, but what a huge hassle it is to get out of town. I hope that y'all enjoy your week, and keep out of trouble!

Ta da!

2008-08-11T13:33:00.001-06:00

New blog layout! It took me forever, and is a much simplified version of where I started out... But it's a work in progress, and now I know that I'm going to have to help the Bitches vamp theirs up as well.... Darn dogs. I'll be looking at putting in a new masthead at some point, but I'm waiting for inspiration.

So if you're reading this from Reader or other RSS feed device, come on over and check out my lovely blog!

Truths and Consequences

2008-08-07T07:55:00.002-06:00

It's true, I love the Twilight books. I know what you unbelievers out there are thinking, because believe me, I thought it once myself. I would never get into faddy literature like that. I know a crappy tween romance book when I see one. I would never taint my mind with the likes of Stephenie Meyer, no matter what I hear about Edward.

You have no idea what you are missing out on! The books are written simplistically and in a Harry Potter-esque style. They capture the imagination and the heart, making it difficult to settle for a man any less than Edwardian.

I first read the books in fall of 2007 when my sister Jocie gave them to me. She hadn't been a huge reader, so I thought that I would humor her by taking them, thus encouraging her nascent love of reading. I couldn't have been more wrong. Instead of doing her a kindly favor, she had done me one by introducing me to such a fun series that captivated my imagination for long after I had read the final page of Eclipse.

So these past few weeks, as everyone has geared themselves up for the release of the 'stunning conclusion of the Twilight saga,' Breaking Dawn, I have felt a wave of melancholy imagining how excited she would be and how often we would text each other about it. I found her copy of Eclipse and read through it, repeatedly returning to the title page where she had written her name carefully in curly script: "Jocelyn Garlick." Oddly formal, using her barely tolerated full name, Jocelyn. I wonder what she was thinking when she inscribed that; surely not that she would never read the conclusion.

So I'm here to recommend the series from both my lips and Jocie's. I will guarantee 100% customer satisfaction, or your money back! If you call now, you can get the Maggie and Sammi commemorative pin, a value of $32, for free. That's right, free!

Fawsonisms

2008-07-30T14:45:00.006-06:00

So the Fawsons (Bob's family) have a number of strange phrases. Here are a few:

- Giggins = These are presents of any flavor. Birthday Giggins, Christmas Giggins, Sorry-I-Called-You-Fat Giggins, you get the picture.

- Dippy = A specific kind of dip (Hidden Ranch dry seasoning + sour cream + cottage cheese ??? As a grafted Fawson, I am not allowed the exact recipe and can only guess at the ingredients.) Traditionally is served with Lays Ridged Potato Chips, and rarely is used with vegetables.

- Lippy = Chapstick, lip balm, any lip-applied cosmetic. Traditionally is referred to as a moisturizing agent, as in, "My lips are so chapped! Can I borrow some lippy?"

- Bousht = Carter Fawson (aged 15) the youngest Fawson. Devolution: Carter --> Buster (Don't know how that one came about) --> Bustier, until there were some awkward questions about what this actually means --> Bousht. Also can be known as Cartier (pronounced the traditional French way).

- Lushy = Shortened form of luscious. A certain extended family member says this word quite often, so the family followed suit. Luscious soon proved to be too long, so lushy came to be.

I love these Fawsonisms, and they stand out especially because they are shiny and new to me, not growing up with them all my life. (e.g. I find it perfectly acceptable to refer to the remote as the 'Mee-mo.') It's one of the best parts of joining a new family, getting to know all of their quirks and intimate details, and the Fawsons are always surprising me with more!

Rumor Mill

2008-07-25T14:39:00.003-06:00

There have been some misunderstandings lately, so I would like to clear a few things up:

1. Bob is not gay. I know some of you think that he carries a purse and we're married for appearances. I know that there has been some gossip going around at work, but it's not true. Bob is straight, I think that I would know!

2. We are not cruel dog owners. Sometimes the most dire of circumstances requires us to use force on our dogs (kicking, spitting, name-calling). Don't judge us, we're smarter than you!

3. Storing human waste and yard clippings in a giant barrel and then leaving it for the next owners of your house is not cool. Don't do it. It's disgusting. We will hate you for it.

4. 40DDD bras make nice hats. Especially yellow ones. This isn't really a misunderstanding, just an awesome factoid.

As you can see, we've had an interesting week and hopefully we'll see more of these things.

Thank you for your time.

Mini Golf

2008-07-23T10:09:00.002-06:00

Yesterday, while hanging out some family, we decided to go mini-golfing with the rest of our evening. It had been raining all day, so the heat was bearable, and an evening out on the course with fun people sounded quite pleasant to all of us, so we headed out!

I hadn't been mini-golfing in years, perhaps I had been on a bad mini-golfing date more recently, but mostly my memory of mini-golfing was from Unni (my grandmother) taking me during the summers of my childhood. I recalled the long afternoons mini-golfing and going to the local cheap water park with her and my cousin-friend Lisa, rushing home afterwards to raid the candy drawer, eat home-cooked churros, cruise around on Gramps' 4-wheeler, and play the marble game.

Now I spend my summer afternoons working hard, or occasionally sneaking away with my mom and sister to buy these matching shoes. Those times seem so simple and so far away. I have an excellent life now, and I remember wanting to be old so badly when I was young, but sometimes I yearn for simpler times when my biggest worry was who I would hang out with tomorrow, and which of my new outfits from the Nordstroms sale would I wear on my first day of school?

I did come in third out of five mini-golfing though. So congratulations to me!

Regret

2008-07-21T09:59:00.002-06:00

We keep our dogs' food outside in the garage, storing a small amount (about 1/4 of a bag) in a sealed bucket in the house for convenience. This bowl also serves as a serving platform for Maggie's food, because Bob claims it is too difficult for her to bend all the way to the ground considering her height. As much as I mock him for these claims, Maggie does eat a lot better when her food is higher, and perhaps she just likes the idea that her food is higher than Sammi's.

When we left the house on Sunday to attend our 'Sunday Party' (aka That Hot Building Where I Listen to Children Sing About Jesus) we accidentally left the aforementioned food bucket sitting out, and not hidden in its usual closet. A plastic bucket with a snap-on lid? Piece of cake for a famished Weimaraner.

We came home and she had cleaned out the entire bucket, approximately 5-8 of her regular meals in a three hour period. We found her laying on her side, her stomach ridiculously distended. She spent hours laying underneath the evaporative cooler and panting.

Bob said, "I feel so bad for her! I know exactly what she's going through, having done it to myself so many times."

Working For the Weekend

2008-07-18T13:20:00.002-06:00

It's a pretty chill day here at work. During a meeting, we ended up talking about nerdy science videos found on the BioRad (a science products vendor) website promoting some of their more expensive products/machinery.

Rumor on the street is that a man from the FBI is coming to redeem our security clearance and then we will have a 'party.' I do not know what that entails.

I'm pretty darn excited for the weekend. Excited enough that I have nothing much to say other than to leave you with a Bobism to make your day like he makes mine!!!

Bobism: Maggie, you deserve a MacArthur Panting Grant for excellence in panting! You're like a genius but with being hot and coping with it. Congratulations! The prize is one dog biscuit.

Mao and the Sentinel

2008-07-15T09:34:00.003-06:00

Bob and I have a route we tend to use for our dog-walking. It is a loop through the neighborhood and at the far end of the loop there is a house. (somber music) A house wherein lies Mao and the Sentinel. (Scary music crescendos.)

As we approach the house (usually about two houses away) our dogs' mo hawk fur goes up, Maggie starts growling, Sammi slinks lower to the ground, and everyone starts walking slower. Suddenly, we spot the Sentinel (an adorable Australian Cattle Dog type of sweetheart) whose tail starts wagging and starts barking the meanest, most ferocious bark I've ever heard in my life. Then Mao, an adorable Beagle, runs up to the fence and howls repeatedly at the top of his 14-lb-dog lungs. (Note: Mao is the Beagle's real name, but we don't know the name of the Sentinel.)

This is considered an affront to our girls who lunge at the end of their leashes. Maggie growls and barks while Sammi does this high-pitched whine that I haven't quite figured out since usually she has no qualms about barking her head off like a fool.

An epic battle of scratching and barking ensues with us yelling our heads off and the dogs on the edge of their seat for the next block. It's a harrying experience, but one that the dogs look forward to on every walk. It's like saying to yourself, "Oh goodie! I didn't call my wife to tell her I would be late for dinner, and now we're going to have a gigantic fight about it! I can't wait! I hope that she calls me a worthless fattie and I get to call her a bitch!"

Stalking Lessons

2008-07-14T09:13:00.002-06:00

We have new neighbors. Our old neighbors, who we liked well-enough, but didn't want to associate with outside of church, bless their little hearts, have moved out and someone else has moved in...

We're happy with our friends here in Salt Lake, we've got great friends who are supportive and fun; but there's just something about having neighbors whose house you're excited to go over to, or whom you can rely on for an early Saturday morning bike ride.

So we've been asking around and we've found out the following:
-They are Mormon (+ So are we)
-They own a Subaru (+ Perhaps outdoorsy)
-They have a kiddy pool (- Perhaps have children which wouldn't be as ideal/+ Perhaps have a dog, awesome!)
-They are high school teachers (- Kind of bland)
-He is the swim coach at Alta High (+ Athletic, perhaps will could be persuaded to be outdoorsy)
-He teached American Government and Politics and she teaches science and math (+++ Matches our own specialties very well...)

Every opportunity we get, I insist on driving or walking by these people's house in attempt to gain more knowledge. (Will they be pretty, Will they be rich? Here's what Bob said to me.... Que sera, sera! Whatever will be, will be. The future's not ours to see, que sera, sera!)

Today's Bob-ism: "We should bring them [refer to above] cookies to invite them into the neighborhood. But the cookies will have poison in them, and only we will have the antidote. Then they will have to be our friends or else we won't save them from the poison!"

Birfday

2008-07-11T14:02:00.004-06:00

Yesterday was Robert Matthew Fawson's 26th birthday (aka my husband). I think this was the first year of our marriage in which he hadn't already bought a kabillion (actual term meaning a ka of billions) dollar item, claiming it would be his birthday present.

The point is that I went down to have lunch with him during his work, which would be standard for most people, but since he works in Soccer Mom Mecca and I work in Tofusville Hippytown Research Park, and there is about an hour of driving between the two, this is quite the present from me to you. You being Bob. Bob works in a scary place. Strip malls and Mormon movie billboards; everyone has a glazed look to their eyes and cuts you off with their BYU-style-personalized license plated minivans.

I digress. What I'm trying to say is that I realized yesterday, more than ever before, how differently Bob and I spend our days. I'm up on the east bench of Salt Lake City, working on science and ebola and stuff, while Bob is down southernly way in the realm of the "Zoobies" working on 'market research,' a vague euphemism for bs-ing with people all day long. When we were in college, we spent all day together. We would each go to our separate classes and then meet in his office to do homework, or more likely to go get Scotsman dogs and Diet beverage refills. (see picture of Scotsman dog for reference) We only owned one car, and we mostly biked places. We both worked on campus, and would go out for afternoon hikes when classes got too rough.

So it's sad that now I barely know the route to his work and he's never been inside mine. I spend so much time here, and he spends even more there, and we'll never again have the proximity that we did in Logan.

Packaging

2008-07-09T13:29:00.003-06:00

My boss is out of town, and a package came in today for her, so in her absence, Jamey and I got the pleasure of opening it. This package stated that the contents 'needed to be refrigerated at -20C upon opening,' so we opened it immediately for the sake of the contents. The package was about three feet long, a foot wide, a foot tall, and made out of Styrofoam; basically a cheap cooler. Also, the box was heavy. Very heavy.

Jamey and I were excited to see the contents, we weren't expecting any packages, and I was worried about where we were going to find the freezer space for this gigantic find.

We opened the lid to find a mountain of dry ice (expected in this sort of delivery) close to the top we found a small box, smaller than my iPhone (though thicker than it). We dug through the rest of the box finding nothing but dry ice, and nearly burning ourselves several times on it. All of that space for dry ice to freeze a cell-phone sized box?!?!?!?!

I realize as I write this that it in no way captures the hilarity and bizarreness of my afternoon... But it will have to do.

Rocky Mountain High

2008-07-08T11:59:00.005-06:00

This weekend we (we being my family + a few tag-a-longs) went camping up in the Uintah Mountains, by Marsh Lake to be more specific. Run down of the bests and the worsts of my 4th of July.

10 things I loved: (no particular order)

14 mile hike to the Big Meadow/Beaver Lake
The shower I took in the trailer after said hike
Watching Maggie swim and the other dogs (Sammi and Izzie) attack her
Canoing out to the Heeb-Jeebs
Playing a ton of Nertz
Eating Raspberry/Strawberry/Blackberry/Rhubarb pies made by yours truly
Delicious, delicious foods
Cheating. And then failing, failing horribly.
Sitting around the campfire and telling tall tales
Watching three boys change a flat tire on a dirt road in the middle of nowhere

10 things I hated: (no particular order)

Mosquitoes
DEET
Sunscreen
The sunscreen/DEET film over my entire body
Mosquito bites
Spraying the dogs with DEET when they hated it
Being sprayed with DEET ("Mama, I hate it!")
Gigantor flies
Having everything taste faintly like DEET
The diseases (cancer, etc.) I will now get from having all that DEET in my bloodstream

These are just some of the many reasons I will look fondly back at the memories of this weekend as I return to my life as a city slicker.

Politicos

2008-07-03T10:50:00.002-06:00

I finally got around to changing my address and registering to vote with the Utah League of Bureaucracy (after a mere ten months) and I'm ready for the presidential elections coming this fall (perhaps the most anticipated event of this millennium, or so it seems).

To get the dogs pumped up, we've been encouraging them to endorse John McCain. These two bitches may be the only creatures in the world that become excited when they hear the words "John McCain." Everyone else is apathetic or mildly adverse, which is what our political system boils down to, the person that wins is the person that creates the least upset reaction, perhaps a man weeks away from a nursing home!

Regardless, everytime we come home or we're about to give them a treat, we shout out, "John McCain!!! John McCain!!!" Naturally, they jump out and freak out as they are prone to do.

We then took this a step further and gave Maggie Bob's old wallet. So for a time (before they chewed the wallet into tiny leather bits that clogged the vacuum for months) we would shout, "John McCain! John McCain!" And Sammi would jump up and down in the air while Maggie would run to try to hand us the wallet (she wanted to play fetch).

The point is, they've transferred $5,000 in funds over the internet to John McCain's campaign due to this training. I guess it worked a little too well...

He/She

2008-07-01T20:42:00.004-06:00

My boss recently found out that her long-time ex-boyfriend Kevin made the decision to undergo a sex-change operation and became Karen. We spent a long time pouring over pictures on Facebook, trying to determine what happened to his/her Adam's apple and where the boobs came from. It was incredible.

Ever since then, I can't help but wonder what I would do if that same thing were to happen to me. What if Carson became Carmen, Jer became Jen, Andy became Andrea (pronounced Ohn-drea, surely), and so on. I would surely question my sexuality; I don't necessarily fall for weight-lifting, truck-driving, rednecked 'macho' men; I like my men smart and funny (like Robert Matthew Fawson), though my husband is a superb handyman.

So ex-boyfriends beware: If you change into women on me, I'm going to go beat you up. (And scratching will count this time...)

Rhinovirus

2008-06-18T14:18:00.003-06:00

I have been sick for the past five days or so, and I decided to give myself a nasal swab and test it on our handy instrument, the FilmArray for a panel of respiratory diseases (mostly viruses).

The results?! I have Rhinovirus!!! I am elated. I have been going around announcing to everyone my disease of choice. Somehow it doesn't seem as crappy to have a cold if you know what it's name is. It's name is Rhino and it's an SOB.

Thank you, and goodnight.

June Weddings

2008-06-16T08:47:00.004-06:00

I have a confession to make, I am addicted to weddings. Monday mornings, my favorite thing to do is hop on the Herald Journal website (Logan's finest newspaper), and look at the wedding announcements. June is especially delightful since it was the month in which I was wed, and since there are many many others following suit, making there many many wedding announcements to read.

This picture is from my favorite announcement this week, the Canning-Wilson wedding where they, "exchanged vows on the beach in San Pancho, Mexico on May 3, 2008. Family and friends celebrated for several days together in Costa Azul and Puerto Vallarta before Peter and Courtney left for a 10-day ocean kayaking adventure."

Doesn't that just sound positively divine?! *romantical sigh*

Paraskavedekatriaphobia

2008-06-13T08:35:00.003-06:00

Today is Friday the Thirteenth, and an ominous day. We're attempting to leave on a camping trip this weekend, and I'm worried that something, anything is going to go wrong. Despite all of my claims, I'm actually quite a superstitious person. I avoid stepping on cracks in the sidewalk, lift up my feet when driving over train tracks (awkward since I live right next on some), perdiddle, hold my breath through tunnels, etc... Wish us luck!

Word of the day: paraskavedekatriaphobia - fear of Friday the thirteenth.

For your friday enjoyment:

Geegs

2008-06-12T08:03:00.003-06:00

After Jocie passed away, my parents made Dione and I promise many, many things to them, but one of them at least we have kept; Dione and I have talked to each other, on the phone or in person, every day since. (83 days, I just counted them.) Some people would think that this would get old, some would think that it would be annoying, some would think it would be easy to forget; and on all of these points, these genius people would be right. But I've really enjoyed these conversations, tedious as they can be, frustrating as it is to wake up to talk to you sister, accommodating her busy social schedule. I've learned a lot about her, and I've been able to open up to her in a way I haven't for years.

So today, as she leaves the realm of teenager-dom and enters the world of twenty-somethings, I think that I'm more qualified then ever to wish her Happy Birthday. And many mooooooore!!!!!

Oh, and also: iPhone.

Note: Dione is laughing in this picture, not crying. And she is laughing because after gorging herself at a fancy buffet, she is getting the 'meat sweats.' A terrible medical condition, donate now to find a cure.

Joyeux Anniversaire!!!

2008-06-03T08:13:00.002-06:00

Today marks the three years since I married Robert Matthew Fawson, affectionately known as Bob. It seems simultaneously much longer and much shorter than three years, so I suppose three years is about right.

It seems that Bob and I have been living/loving together and getting on each other's nerves for much longer than three years. I seems strange to think of a time when I came home to anything else but our small family of two humans and two dogs.

At the same time, three years has gone by quite quickly. A lot has happened, we now have four college degrees (alright, three of them are Bob's), own a house, have been parents to three dogs (though never more than two at once) and have grown a lot. We've gone through heart-ache, traveled the world, dealt with depression and insecurities. We've hiked, biked, rock-climbed, canoed, camped, back-packed, snow-shoed, skiied, sledded, swam, flown, been on more than one "Death March," bought a car on Ebay, road-tripped, learned to cook, and learned how to tease each other with efficacy.

Love you, Bobby.

flip-flopping

2008-05-22T15:08:00.003-06:00

I am obsessed lately with gardening. I look forward with eager anticipation to the time each evening when I can go outside, inspect my plants, and sprinkle them with life-giving water. I consider each young seedling a credit to my excellent planting and watering abilities, and I treat each infiltrating weed (mostly morning glory) as a nemesis as vile as any fought by governments or superheroes.

That being said, I resent the rainstorms. They deprive me of my precious outside time and my growth scrutiny is diminished by the mud and general ickiness following a rainstorm. Also, the dogs get ridiculously messy.

I used to adore the rain, I would anxiously look forward to every slight possibility of rain. I guess I still do appreciate the 20 degree temperature drop. Tastes change; perhaps next week I will be raving on about how rainstorms have made my life livable and how much I'm sick of weeding.

Blogitis

2008-05-14T18:32:00.003-06:00

Bob recently told me about an article he read about the growing number of people having emotional breakdowns and psychological issues because of the pressure of updating their blog regularly. I can't say that I have this problem, but the Bitches do....

Instead, I would diagnose myself with another problem. I think about blogging too much; or writing anyways. Whenever anything happens to me, big or small, my mind immediately starts writing about it. Later, in front of the computer, I try to conjure up the imagery and the beautiful things I had intended to write, but by then it is gone. Anything I write seems pale and insignificant compared to the beautiful, now-ethereal, prose of my mind. So in some ways, my writing is a continual disappointment.

And yet, I know that it is better for me to write this here and now then to write nothing at all. At least this way, I will have a legacy. You can read this and remember me when I'm away for a moment, a month, a lifetime, or for good.

list o' cheer

2008-05-08T15:20:00.006-06:00

Ten Things that Made Me Chuckle This Week
(In no particular order.)

1. My friend's 18-month-old putting Maggie's food dish on his head and declaring, "Hat!" (Later, he tried to lick said dish.)

2. The non-lyrics to Benny and the Jets (courtesy of 27 Dresses).

3. Maggie walking straight into a van.

4. Nicknaming those who don't want to be nicknamed. (e.g. Mimi & Kiki)

5. Secret by The Pierces. (Music video here --> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-2k0qaWCgU I couldn't get it to embed...)

6. Gay Gossip.

7. Our group's Office-Quote-A-Day calendar.

8. BTFABBQ[HQN2Niner] Fiesta Cinqo de Mayo planning.

9. "I don't make pies, I make women melt." (Mateo on being asked to join the pie club solely based on his watching of Iron Chef and having a Y-chromosome.)

10. 30 Rock. This made me chuckle so much, I insist upon re-telling each episode in detail to Bob. Needless to say, he is less than amused.

three rooms

2008-05-04T00:07:00.003-06:00

Today I walked through the now-empty childhood rooms of sisters. The blond one, the brown one, the red one; all three are gone from the house, presumably for good.

There was once a day when all three lived with motherbrotherfather in a house full of hustle and bustle. The house is full of silence now. The sisters taught, teased, tortured, tantrumed, terrorized, tricked, and treated.

"Stop playing the piano!"
"I didn't tell you you could borrow my shirt!"
"Do you want to play Utah-in-a-Box?"
"Did you kiss him?"

These sisters' voices still echo through the now empty rooms, melancholy with the abandonment, but hopeful for the retained memories. The rooms contain smells, forgotten notes, discarded clothes, fading pictures, unwanted wedding presents, dress-up clothes, a collection of make-up, gifts too nice to carry around, a guitar, a set of golf clubs. These rooms are full of things, evidence of the vibrant and beautiful girls that once lived there; but the rooms seem empty without the girls.

Can a room feel?
If it could, these rooms would feel lonely.

snow peas

2008-04-30T14:47:00.002-06:00

There's something incredibly beautiful in the first shoots of something planted by one's own hands breaking the crust of the earth. I was overanxious to start a garden this spring, and we planted seeds about three weeks ago. I worried over them as snow fell several times and nothing but weeds surfaced. However, three or four days ago, the snow peas started pushing up through the ground, parting the moist soil with the strength of a nascent seedling.

And so it is, the circle of life. The winter has been very cold and snowy this year, and it has taken a long time to get rid of the snow. There is still a chill in the ground, as well as in my heart; but there is a small seedling. It is spring.

from ear to ear

2008-04-25T08:55:00.005-06:00

Eskimos are reputed to have hundreds of words for snow. I propose we generate as many words for smiles. I can only think of grin and smirk, and the thesaurus entry was weak, indeed. Here are ten of the smiles that I think need new names:

1. The uncontrollable smile that breaks across your face like a winter dawn when the man you love does something extra sweet.

2. The, "I see you every day but don't have anything to say to you, so I just smile," smile.

3. The smile (perhaps coupled with a perfunctory snort or chuckle) when something someone said is not that funny, but you feel the urge to be kind regardless.

4. The ear-to-ear enthusiastic grin when greeting an old friend.

5. The good-bye smile.

6. The smile of genuine surprise.

7. The smile of embarrassment, "No, I think it's funny that I fell on my butt spilling coffee all over myself, really I do!"

8. The flirty smile, "Come hither."

9. The smile of relief. "He's going to be okay?"

10. And one of my favorites, the chuckle/smile to yourself when you're reading something funny alone.

Any I have forgotten?

EDIT -- 4/29/08 Over dinner last night, Michelle came up with: The smile that babies make when they're gassy. Bob came up with: The smile Maggie makes right before she vomits.

Tiping the scales

2008-04-13T21:12:00.005-06:00

Miracles do happen I suppose. I wrote this the day before Jocie passed away.

Cassandra Anne said...

I once believed this way, that life was a serious of unfortunate events waiting to climax; each high a new apex to plunge into the depths of despair from. I no longer believe this.

Life is about perspective. Sure, there's AIDS, and disagreements, and dead deer on the highway; but life is full of so much beauty as well.

If life is tucked full of sadness, it's also sparkled with specs of ecstacy (not the drug) to equilibrate, or even (as I believe) to tip the scales over from tragedy to comedy.

A cloud shaped like your professor, a ridiculous email, the fact that the machine I'm running right now is harmonizing perfectly with the fridge across the room; I think if you took an unbiased look around you, you'd find there's more to smile than frown about.

March 21, 2008 11:55 AM

I might not have said this a week or two ago, but I think I'm going to be okay. I think we're all going to be okay, as time passes.

But do me a favor, call your sister. Call her today and tell her that you love her. Do it for those of us that cannot.

Go Jiggy

2008-03-31T15:46:00.004-06:00

A tulip's fresh opened petals;
A crumpled kleenex, still damp;
A card with sincerely expressed emotions;
A million pictures of her;
These are the sights.

The sniffling of your mother;
The barking of dogs at every additional doorbell ring;
The ringing-ringing-ringing of the telephone;
The singing of her broken-hearted friends;
These are the sounds.

A lifetime's worth of flowers;
A loaf of freshly baked bread;
A meaty chili on the floor;
A spritz of her Juicy perfume;
These are the smells.

The hug of your too skinny mother;
The feathery petals of flowers;
The curly matted hair of a dog
The cold feeling of metal from her necklaces;
These are the touches.

These are the sensations of grief.
But I'm glad for them.
I'm glad for the splashes of color,
In an otherwise expanse of gray.

Dedicated to Jocie Garlick.

turn of the drill

2008-03-19T15:09:00.002-06:00

I just returned from the sadist, oh I mean the dentist; and I couldn't help, as I sat there under anesthetic and drills, but ponder the sexism of that profession. I have never met a female dentist or orthodontist, and furthermore, I've never met a male dental hygienist. Why is this?! In school, I went to school with many pre-med, pre-dent students, and looking back, I never met a female pre-dent student, though I met many, many female pre-meds. What?! Sexism is alive and well, and in your mouth. Even if there are female dentists out there, there must be very low numbers for me to never have encountered even one....

I also couldn't help but detest the kindly older man drilling on my cavities. I kept telling myself, "This is your own fault, not his." And yet, I couldn't remember having done anything wrong. It couldn't be the fault of delicious, delicious candy! No, it must be Dr. Badger's fault. Cruel, cruel man.

Argh. And now my anesthetic is wearing off, I'd better go swallow a bottle of Advil.

my only sunshine

2008-03-15T08:17:00.001-06:00

As I woke up this morning the sun peaked over the mountains and winked at me. "Go back where you came from," I whispered to her. "Bob and I are having a wonderful morning here together. Leave us be for another moment or two, won't you please?"

The sun smiled and drew dark clouds around her like a blanket. "As you wish," she smiled coyly at me. Suddenly, the brilliant morning sky went dark and the last bit of sun was covered up with dark clouds. I smiled thinking of the extra time we'd have to cuddle when suddenly, it began to snow; large ominous flakes of snow on our newly exposed lawn. There would be no spring cleaning of the yard today.

As I realized my folly, I heard the sun chuckling as from a far distance, "As you wish..."

spring is for lovers

2008-03-02T20:53:00.001-07:00

I was driving home on Friday, and was stopped at a traffic light. I saw a young couple holding hands and giggling; happy to be out in the warm spring air, happy to feel the sun on their faces, happy to be falling in love.

I couldn't help but think of the spring in which I feel hopelessly in love. Oblivious to the harsh world around me, I was lost in the grandeur of finding the person in the world that I mesh the best with.

Spring is for lovers.

The Confessional

2008-02-27T14:41:00.002-07:00

I have a confession to make... I am addicted to the internet. This unhealthy obsession began many years ago, when I was in junior high. I have gone through internet trends (Napster, Livejournal, MySpace, and now Facebook and Blogger) like a runny nose goes through kleenex, and still I want more.

And the acquisition of my iPhone has aggravated this condition. I now am connected to the internet wherever I am; stuck in traffic, boring meeting at work; and I too readily take advantage of it.

I read blogs, check the weather, keep up with several email accounts... At times I become a freakish internet stalker, existing entirely in a fictional realm and ceasing to interact with many people anywhere but the information super-highway.

Even my dogs have a blog....

The Late Show

2008-02-25T08:30:00.004-07:00

As I walk my dogs along the road in the late evening, I pass the same house each time. From the road, the ethereal glow of two televisions can be seen through the opaque drapes. One television is turned to a sports channel, the other to CSI, or other such primetime show.

I know the people that live there, an aged couple with children and career long behind them. They are left with each other and their long-festering relationship. I'm so worried that when my marriage reaches its sixtieth year, our kisses will grow stale, our very presence a bother to one another, the only relief we find is in our separate television shows late at night; made even more sad by the juxtaposition with the blissful joy we live in now...

what if...

2008-02-19T20:55:00.003-07:00

What if? Those heavy words sinking with the weight of their implications. A memory hit me today, poignant and painful; of a small mistake made long ago.

Why can't we live today so we won't feel regret tomorrow? Politicians, parents, idealists; all spend time trying to undo what was done.

We have a dog from an neglective home and every day I can see the ramifications of her previous owners' actions. What if she had been treated like we treat her when she was a puppy?

What if?

troubles

2008-02-15T21:14:00.002-07:00

Bob left this afternoon to go camping with the scouts.

A few hours later, I received a phone call from his mother. His grandfather is in the hospital with heart troubles. They've given him six months to live.

How do I tell Bob when he returns????

The Spring has Sprung

2008-02-13T20:55:00.002-07:00

This morning as I drove into work, dawn broke over the mountains for the first time in months. I had been driving in the dark in the mornings for so long, I had forgotten how pleasant it was to watch dawn break and to see the cars in front of me on the road. I felt instantly cheered and sure that the day would turn out warm and memorable.

However, spring failed to show its smiling face. As a matter of fact, my husband is stranded right now due to the poor weather. We had an incredible plan for tonight, and it's all been dashed against the rocks....

When will spring come?!

Decision 2008

2008-02-12T07:44:00.000-07:00

The last time I wrote, I mentioned our offer to take a job in Washington DC, and our intentions to take the job and move. Since then, we've been offered another (better) position to stay here in Salt Lake City.

We have spent all weekend thinking about where we want to be and what we want to do with our futures. And despite the loss of adventure, we're pleased to say that we'll be staying in Salt Lake City.

Falling

2008-02-04T20:37:00.000-07:00

Skiing recently, I took a steep turn in a chute. It was the right turn to make, and I did nothing wrong. And yet, I found myself akimbo. My balance was off and I could feel the inevitability of gravity pulling at my body; urging me to careen down the steep slope. Feeling the hopelessness of the situation, I threw my body into the fall and I tumbled head over heels down the mountain. I somersaulted through a patch of powder and came back up having not misplaced anything, and with no more pain than a back full of snow.

And so it is in my current situation. Despite my best intentions, I've found myself perched precariously on the edge of a cliff. And after sitting for a few days resting awkwardly, I've decided to throw myself wholeheartedly into the unknown, hoping that I come out no worse for the wear.

We're moving to Washington DC within the next two or three months. Wish us luck!

The Dude Abides

2008-01-22T22:39:00.000-07:00

When I was younger, I wanted to be nouns. Doctor, lawyer, writer, librarian. I was sure that after enough searching, I would find the perfect noun to encompass the essence of Cassandra. Doctors are analytical and caring. Writers are artistic and aloof. Students are hard-working and single-minded.

Now that I'm a little older and wiser too, I've come to the realization I no longer desire to be a noun. I can think of no noun that would encompass everything I want to become. Now, I want to be adjectives. Caring, knowledgeable, friendly, ambitious. I'm sure now there is no perfect cookie cutter noun that can fit Cassandra. Perhaps I can build my own through my adjective endeavor.

Most of all, however, I want to be true. I want to be the kind of person that others can depend on to be there. I want to trust my own drive, integrity, and judgment. I want to never let a friend down. I want to be the example for my own family. In my experience, when times are harsh, and roads twisted; being true to yourself is the only thing that will pull you through. Your best friend's political opinions, your neighbor's fashion sense, your parents' outlook on education; none of these will get you through the tough times unless you truly know yourself. And when you do, others' differing opinions can be shrugged off. When you truly know yourself, there is an incredible serenity that follows; feeling that all will be okay, regardless.

I cannot profess to truly know myself, but I have glimpsed my own truth tonight, and it feels good.

Snow Math

2008-01-14T19:28:00.000-07:00

I saw this mathematical equation while I was up skiing this weekend:

RU QTπ???
18

Basically, it was amazing.

The Munning

2008-01-03T08:12:00.000-07:00

The air smells of cold and the sky is thick with a pre-dawn blackness. My shoes slip along the ice as pulled by the forward momentum of the canine. My feet, the only sounds on the street, make a crunching noise and fogs of breath cloud my vision. I am alone with my thoughts.

It was in this time, several days earlier, that I decided to conduct my experiment. Will my faltering relationships fail when I stop pouring so much of myself into them??? I am tired of investing valuable emotional resources into a failing relationship. I am tired of feeling unwanted and unloved by those people. I am tired of waiting and waiting for someone to grab my outstretched hand.

The sad thing is, I don't think this resolve has made any impact whatsoever. Oh well, at least I still have several relationships that are still worth my while.

Thick Spit

2008-01-02T18:57:00.000-07:00

Bob has a terrible condition that mostly strikes him at night. It keeps him up tossing and turning which consequentially keeps me up. He claims that the only solution would be to get him a spittoon. Then he could wake up and spit out his "thick spit" and sleep through the night. Where do you buy a spittoon???

In other news, I'm extremely excited about 2008. I have great hopes and plans for this year.

Ten Amazings That Occurred to Me This Holiday Season

2007-12-27T08:22:00.000-07:00

1. As I was walking to work the other day, a man called out behind me, "Hey, you used to be a ballerina, didn't you?" As I turned, I spotted the smirk on his face, as if he knew some secret about me and was bursting to let me know. See, my hips are messed up in that they force my legs to point out unnaturally, giving my feet the look of a ballerina's; however, I do not dance. I lack the coordination and grace to sufficiently plier. But I let the man have his kicks. "I did used to be a ballerina," I responded in my best 'you've got me' tone. The man then surmised that I probably danced for a long time and he was willing to bet I really missed it. Why not? And for a brief moment, I was a ballerina, graceful and beautiful; as I walked away, there was a new lightness in my step...

2. We (Bob + Me + Bob's brother Carter) recently went skiing up at Brighton. I think I had more fun skiing that day then I have had skiing at any other time. It was incredible. Additionally, at the bottom of a mid-mountain life, there is a double-decker bus which is used as a snack bar. Amazing!

3. I received many lovelies for Christmas including, but not limited to: Nintendo DS & 4 games (Cooking Mama 2 = Amazing), incredible silver jewelry, lushy clothes, etc...

4. I learned what it would be like if my grandmother had gotten her wish and we all had been red-heads (including those without any hair at all).

5. I learned that a dog can chew through a Blackberry, effectively demolishing screen and speaker function, yet leaving the ability to announce an incoming email.

6. I, and many that I love, contracted death-like illnesses that last weeks and weeks.

7. I went snowshoeing and Sammi, determined to party like the rest of the lab mixes involved (3 of them), became covered in snow and consequentially became quite cold. She's not meant for the cold weather, and rolling around in the snow like that dominant fool she is certainly didn't help matters much.

8. Bob and I both came to terms with the fact that there are certain people that we just don't have time for any longer. Sometimes it's more work than it's worth to maintain certain friendships, especially when said 'friends' make absolutely no effort whatsoever to keep up.

9. I have some incredible friends, loving family members, and sweet neighbors. I was surprised at the generosity bestowed upon me this Christmas; and it warmed my heart.

10. I realized that I love the holiday season, and that I can't wait until next year when once again I will be able to turn on my Christmas music and trim a fresh tree.

The District of Columbia

2007-12-15T09:12:00.000-07:00

Bob and I just returned from a brief trip to the District of Columbia, our nations capital. Bob had a job interview there, and I was just along for the ride. As we walked along the National Mall (Which is approximately a billion miles long; note to self -- next time bring a Segway...) I was hit with a string of Soffian memories of a time long ago. Bob (well-versed in US History, especially around revolutionary times) and I laughed about Old Hickory's policies and exchanged anecdotes about historical figures.

And as the shrouding fog cleared, we could see the National Christmas Tree in the distance, and I remembered that, despite it's many many flaws, I love my country.

Sighting of the Fantastical

2007-11-26T14:46:00.000-07:00

Awaking from our tryptophan-induced comas on Saturday, Bob and I decided that some fresh air was in order, and we set out on a mountain bike ride up our Salt Lake canyon of choice. As we rode upwards, the crisp air cut like a knife through my jacket, and my ears ached in protest before succumbing to inevitable numbness.

As we rode along the ridge-line, I watched the last arc of the sun disappear behind the peaks and the trail headed downwards through a series of switchbacks. Around a sharp corner I turned, my back tire skidding a bit in protest, and I saw him. An elfish figure with pointy ears and crisp, white hair flitted in front of my eyes and was gone in an instant.

In the blink of an eye, the trees in front of me changed. No longer brown and dull, every last corner of bark sparkled like diamonds in sunlight with white frost. It seemed as if I was descending into a fog or a cloud; rather I was descending into a Winter Wonderland sans snow. And out of the corner of my eye, I was sure I could spot the elusive sprite.

I have witnessed a miracle. I have spotted Jack Frost.

giving thanks

2007-11-21T09:06:00.000-07:00

100 Things I am thankful for:
(not everything I am thankful for, and in no particular order)

1. a wonderful husband
2. warm socks
3. two incredible dogs
4. midnight hikes
5. pumpkin roll
6. this american life
7. freeways
8. the internet
9. craigslist
10. the iphone
11. sisters
12. my mother-in-law
13. diet coke
14. chick-flicks
15. owning an expansive library
16. skiing
17. facebook
18. google (trends, reader, mail, scholar, etc...)
19. hot cocoa
20. double-sided tape
21. blogs
22. loving parents
23. snowstorms
24. airplanes
25. babies
26. old friends
27. cuddling
28. salmon
29. pilot extra fine (05) ink pens
30. traveling
31. pregnant women
32. nordstrom's
33. millcreek canyon
34. an interesting and rewarding job
35. playstation 3
36. the simpsons
37. jackets
38. ponytails
39. shirts with thumb-holes
40. polymerase chain reactions (pcr)
41. cnn
42. air conditioning
43. atms
44. morals
45. asparagus
46. sweaters
47. six-packs
48. chocolate
49. yoga
50. pomegranates
51. piano
52. a good book
53. expensive cheese
54. water slides
55. winks
56. indie music
57. mountain biking
58. holding hands
59. libertarianism
60. snowshoeing
61. watches
62. science
63. steak
64. sunsets
65. kleenex
66. blinds
67. wait, wait, don't tell me
68. television
69. sneezes
70. national public radio
71. live music
72. films with hugh grant
73. the holy ghost
74. mountains
75. theatre
76. wii
77. revolving doors
78. tennis
79. amusement parks
80. nintendo 64
81. artichoke dip
82. sewing
83. quicken
84. unexpected kisses
85. muffins
86. holding something you've made
87. apple products
88. tools
89. contacts
90. pies
91. poetry
92. the book of mormon
93. tomatoes
94. soccer
95. spices
96. guitars
97. caves
98. fancy vocabulary (e.g. zeitgeist)
99. spending holidays with family
100. potatoes

their eyes were watching God

2007-11-13T07:54:00.000-07:00

How is it that we are able to tell when we are being watched? It makes no biological sense, that creepy feeling that someone is furtively observing us. How do we know?

And why is it so disturbing???

rLOVEolution

2007-11-09T08:28:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine recently was pulled over by the cops, hand-cuffed and taken into custody, and made to spend the night in the drunk tank without every being told what she was being held for.

In the garish light of day, it was found that she had a warrant out for her arrest for a fix-it ticket that she had both paid for and had a police officer sign off that she had taken care of. All of this had been resolved over four months earlier. "Hardy-harr-harr! Our mistake, have a nice day!!!" There will be no repercussions for the police.

And another libertarian is born...

Ron Paul at his desk.

PCMC

2007-11-07T13:46:00.001-07:00

Our team has created the first prototype of our instrument (and it's mostly working by some sort of divine intervention) and placed it at PCMC. (We sling this acronym around at work like a policeman slings his badge around on Law & Order type shows.)

Primary Children's Medical Center. I was so proud of this placement, they love having our machine at the microbiology lab there, it's much more effective and efficient than their current respiratory testing services. We were all feeling really great about this vainglorious day in our lives, or at least I was, until yesterday rolled around.

Yesterday, I walked in the overly-cheery revolving doorway at the children's hospital, and the truth and foolishness of my pride hit me straight in the gut. Children were pulled to and from hospital rooms in little red wagons rather than wheelchairs or gurneys; the walls were covered with pastel letters and thank you donations; a giant water-fountain up front had real moving parts and looked like something from Willy Wonka.... But none of that could shroud the fact that the building was full of children; sick and dying children. My heart caught in my throat as we walked up the staircase and looked at the list of departments. Does your child have cancer? Ear/nose/throat problems? Needs surgery?

I've never seen anything so horrifying and eye-opening.

Guy Fawkes

2007-11-05T10:01:00.000-07:00

Remember, remember the fifth of November,
The gunpowder, treason, and plot,
I know of no reason
Why gunpowder treason,
Should ever be forgot.

I do appreciate Guy Fawkes day, a day full of fireworks and burnt effigies. I plan on celebrating it myself this evening. The British government, shaken from an attempt on Parliament, has used this story to inspire loyalty and patriotism through fire and explosions. Brilliant.

It is an important idea however, to recall those gigantic disasters that blow our own worlds apart and change our lives forever. Let us learn from our mistakes...

'till rot do us part

2007-11-02T15:36:00.000-06:00

They looked like a snowglobe, dancing tightly together in perfect circles. We all stood around watching them in their married newness, pricetags still on their rings and cheeks aching from smiling too much.

"I would feel awkward dancing in front of everyone like this," I mutter under my breath to Bob.

"They're too in love to notice anyone else," he whispers back.

And on and on they spun, whispering and laughing, kissing and smiling till their faces hurt.

And all of us could only stare at them, wishing-longing-hoping-remembering a time they were also too in love to notice anyone else. Remembering their own snowglobe days.

(from my livejournal March 2007)

Nick the Name

2007-10-29T08:16:00.000-06:00

My family drove down to visit me yesterday, and we entered in a lively discussion about the Nickname. For no apparent reason, my family is mildly obsessed with finding funny nicknames for people around them, and those nicknames tend to be derisive.

Nickname Highlight Role

Chet - Cheddar Cheese, Poogs, Uncle Chi-chi
Jocelyn - Jocie, Poobe, Jodger, Jiggy, Jibby
Dione - Didi, Geegs, Didi-bidi-bumba, Sweet Dee
Cassandra - Cass, Soggy, Cassi-andra
Mom - Ma-ster of the Universe, MA-MA, Cryp (from Cripple, I don't think I ever called her this to her face)
Dad - .... I can't remember ever having a nickname for my father. Such a tragedy since he's the King of making up nicknames. Any ideas???

Oh yeah, and FREE LEONARD PELTIER!!!!