Truths and Consequences

It's true, I love the Twilight books. I know what you unbelievers out there are thinking, because believe me, I thought it once myself. I would never get into faddy literature like that. I know a crappy tween romance book when I see one. I would never taint my mind with the likes of Stephenie Meyer, no matter what I hear about Edward.

You have no idea what you are missing out on! The books are written simplistically and in a Harry Potter-esque style. They capture the imagination and the heart, making it difficult to settle for a man any less than Edwardian.

I first read the books in fall of 2007 when my sister Jocie gave them to me. She hadn't been a huge reader, so I thought that I would humor her by taking them, thus encouraging her nascent love of reading. I couldn't have been more wrong. Instead of doing her a kindly favor, she had done me one by introducing me to such a fun series that captivated my imagination for long after I had read the final page of Eclipse.

So these past few weeks, as everyone has geared themselves up for the release of the 'stunning conclusion of the Twilight saga,' Breaking Dawn, I have felt a wave of melancholy imagining how excited she would be and how often we would text each other about it. I found her copy of Eclipse and read through it, repeatedly returning to the title page where she had written her name carefully in curly script: "Jocelyn Garlick." Oddly formal, using her barely tolerated full name, Jocelyn. I wonder what she was thinking when she inscribed that; surely not that she would never read the conclusion.

So I'm here to recommend the series from both my lips and Jocie's. I will guarantee 100% customer satisfaction, or your money back! If you call now, you can get the Maggie and Sammi commemorative pin, a value of $32, for free. That's right, free!