I am a planner. I like looking at a difficult schedule and laying everything out in front of me. I loved signing up for classes in college each semester, watching how they played out on paper, and eventually appreciating how they played out in real life, especially for the two years when I was able to take a full day off every week for myself. I wish I had that kind of luxury now!
So imagine my chagrin when entropy has taken a firm hold on my life. I cannot plan for an unknowable future, I cannot schedule and file and it is driving me crazy. I have grown dissatisfied, waiting and wondering and being continually disappointed. I do well with the sprint, the short-term upsets, but the long unknown waiting period, I struggle with.
I am taken measures, though, to gain control of my chaotic existence. Perhaps it is a god-complex to think that by sheer will and effort of planning, I can mold my world to follow my preconceived notions of happiness and prosperity.
I feel, and I'm sure many others feel this way, that my place in the world is tenuous. Financial, emotional, political, and social instabilities run rampant. Let us all do our best to move forward, in hopes that in doing so, we can gain some sort of stasis.
Monday, January 5, 2009
Wow, a whole year has passed since 2008 began, and now I find myself making nearly the same resolutions as I did twelve months ago... One of them at least is new though, I plan to take at least one picture a day for the whole year. I almost missed a day, but got away on a technicality, I took a picture with someone else's camera, and I'm going to count it!
January 1 - Bob and Sammi at our New Year's Eve Party (Can you spot Dave in the background?), we had a lot of fun preventing Sammi from eating various foods, children, and precious children's toys.
January 2 - Bob and Mike with their tough-men beards. It seems to be impossible for Bob to keep his eyes open during a picture. Where's your beard-card, Mike?!
January 3- This is the day when I didn't take a picture with my own camera, so I include here a picture of Sammi during our Christmas break. We were about to head out snowshoeing and I dressed Sammi in her new sweater (made by myself), though she got quite cold anyways.
January 4 - Now that we have church at nine, we have reclaimed our Sunday afternoons! This is Bob hiking in the foothills behind Draper, where the dogs are free to get lost as much as they want.