Saturday, December 13, 2008


I've been away for work in San Antonio the past few days, and then Bob left this morning for Belgium (I think he's there as a waffle evaluator...) so blogging has taken a back seat.  But I'm taking advantage of this weekend to get on top of all of my internet tasks, and to get Maggie & Sammi to update their own blog (They're so lazy when I'm not around!).

I here include a few pictures from this Thanksgiving with the Fawsons.  We went shotgun shooting up in Logan Canyon.  Maggie is a great bird dog, and Sammi nearly crapped her pants.

Here is Bob shooting, Chris throwing the clay pigeons, and Aunt Annie looking on.

A lovely Thanksgiving tree.

Heather, watching while the boys get the guns ready for some serious shooting!

Carter and Scott full of Testosterone.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Afternoon Delight

We went searching for ghost towns a few weeks ago in the Oquirrh Mountains, and here is Sammi, freaking out to be out of the truck and into the wilderness.  (Note the 'No Trespassing' sign in the background.)

It feels nice to be out in the mountains enjoying the fresh air and the fall scenery before winter finally surrounds us.  Usually I'm excited for fall to relinquish its brief and tenuous hold on Utah, but this year I'm nervous for winter to come around.  I don't feel like I'm ready to make the decisions that winter brings with it, I'm unprepared to face the snow and the holidays and the changes.  Winter seems like a snowball, deftly gathering speed as it rolls, until it has grown larger than life and is ready to engulf us all.

But maybe it is like many things in life, the anticipation is the worst part of the game.  Perhaps this year winter will mean only pleasant trips to sunny places, perfect powder days, and hot cocoa at the close of it all.  I'm trying to be optimistic, is it working?

Regardless, I am thankful for all of the love and support I feel on a daily basis.  I'm grateful for my life, my loved ones, and my gifts; and though I may wish for some things to be different, I would never want to trade places with anyone.

Happy Ho Ho Turkey Day!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Adorable Fix

Isn't this the cutest picture ever? Bob and our friends' son Grant at a wedding we attended recently. It's your adorable fix for the day.

Monday, November 10, 2008


Fine, fine. 6 quirky things you didn't know you didn't know about me.

1. I am interviewed on talk shows all of the time.... in my head. I have been interviewed by all sorts of people on the majority of the major networks about my recent bestselling book, a friend/family member's recent medical breakthrough, or giving my opinion on some recent news event. Lately most of these interviews occur during my commute to work, luckily I no longer carpool with anyone as I usually conduct my side of the interview out loud.

2. I love to watch television on my iPod or laptop while I'm doing anything; gardening, cooking dinner, cleaning the bathroom, folding laundry. I watch a lot of shows...

3. I am currently growing my hair out until it is long enough to cover my chest like in those jean commercials where the girls have no shirts on and only really awesome jeans. I'm getting there, but I still have a few months to go. At this point I have no future plans for my hair.

4. I cannot set alarms for round numbers (ends in 5 or 0). If a recipe calls for something to be cooked for 30 minutes, I'll set a timer for 28. My alarm this morning went off at 5:27.

5. I talk to my dogs. A lot. Especially when Bob is out of town. I discuss with them what to cook for dinner, what they thought about the latest Gossip Girl episode, and whether or not they think that it will rain. If Sammi is in a particularly quirky mood, she will howl back at me while Maggie squeaks her 'Wubba.'

6. I love hanging out with people, but I have severe hermit tendencies. I'll get huge anxiety before any party I'm about to attend and when confronted with new people, my default is to close up on myself and go AWOL. I feel like a huge introvert, though I do my best to hide it.

Ta da! I don't really feel like tagging anyone right now. Maybe next time...

Monday, November 3, 2008

Halloween 2008

My work goes all out for Halloween, so some friends and I rose to the challenge.  This year we won the group costume competition for our rendition of the Seven Deadly Sins.

From left to right: Wrath (Haleigh), Pride (Sarah), Gluttony (Jamey), Sloth (Kaylyn), Lust (Kelly), Greed (me), Envy (Kiki).

A close-up on me as Greed!  I was repeatedly mistaken for Paris Hilton.  Close enough, I suppose.

Is this the cutest little Frankenstein you have ever seen?  He enjoys bossing around the dogs, and they enjoy trying to steal his candies.

Monday, October 27, 2008

San Juan Island Pictures

For this week's pictures I'm going to highlight a few of my more artistic shots from our Fawson Family Vacay to the San Juan Islands this past summer.  It was around this time that I really started to get into photography, and I spent a lot of time on this trip trying things out, seeing what worked and what didn't.  Here are a few of my favorites.

From the clothesline in the backyard of the house we rented.

The lavender farm.  This place smelled incredible.

The Lime Kiln State Park where we were whale-watching.  Obviously there were no whales to watch when this picture was taken.

Fence outside our house.

A barn next to our house.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008


Once again it is October 21, and my birthday! To commemorate my twenty-three years on this earth, I put together some pictures of myself for your enjoyment.
This is one of the oldest pictures I have of myself courtesy of my first digital camera which I got for my nineteenth birthday, Fall 2004. I used to love taking pictures of myself late at night and then photoshopping them. This picture, however, us untouched.

Here is one of my favorite engagement pictures, and the photo that was in the center of our announcement, Spring 2005. See how happy I look?!

My bridal pictures, Summer 2005. I was told to spin. When I concentrate I tend to stick out my tongue. I guess spinning in a dress and train is pretty difficult stuff!

Skiing at Beaver Mountain, Winter 2005. Look how awesome that powder looks in the background! The sun is very shiny, that's why my eyes are shut, I have a hard time with shiny.

Summer 2006 we went to nearly all of the national parks/state parks in Utah and several surrounding states. This is a hike in one of those parks, don't ask me which. I believe the gray mass behind me was a 'salt upheaval.'

This is me graduating from college, Spring 2007! That hat was seriously bugging.

Here I am at a Vietnamese optometrist getting fit for ridiculously cheap 'Gucci' glasses, Summer 2007. This is how they determined my prescription. Do you see how shiny I am? It was so hot and humid there, and no air-con anywhere!

This is me at Hamilton's restaurant a couple of weeks ago, Fall 2008. I'm telling my dad how to operate my camera, don't I look lovely?

Thank you for that trip through memory lane, and I hope this next year brings new and wonderful things. And if you see me today, you should sing me a song.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Fawsonberger Candy Tournament 2008 - Round 5, Final Round

Note: Read the archives for the first four rounds of this tournament. Start here.

About this time we realized that the sweater that Sammi had been wearing all night was covered in her own urine, and that Bob had been cuddling with her for an hour and hadn't noticed. Perhaps it was the candy talking, but I found that fact hilarious.  

We had travelled long and hard and been ridiculed by grocery store employees, we had skipped dinner and meaningful sustenance, we had endured heart-ache and stomachache all for this moment, the final two competitors!

Skor vs. Starburst - We slowly savored these last two bits of candy, recognizing that they would be the last in what had become a long journey.  As was to be expected, I voted for Starburst and Jamey voted for Skor.  Tiebreaker went to Dave.  We asked Bob was his vote would be, as a matter of curiosity, and he said Skor.  Dave pondered his decision for a long time.  A really long time, Grant was tired and kept going to the door, trying to unlock it, and saying, "Outside!" Eventually, he decided on Starburst.

Ta Da!  We did it!  We are incredible!

Here I am, considering the near impossible choice of the final two candies.

In the aftermath of the tournament the four of us seem stunned that Starbursts could have won. It was highly unpredictable, and I think that says that we performed our duties as unbiasedly as would could.  I highly recommend you to gather up a group of three to five people and create your own candy tournament, though expect craziness to occur and you to leave considerably heavier than when you began!!!  Thanks for sticking with me through this life-changing journey.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Fawsonberger Candy Tournament 2008 - Round 4

Note: Read Round 1, Round 2, and Round 3 before reading this round.

We're down to the final four candies, Caramello, Skor, Gummy Worms, and Starburst. Interestingly enough, no matter who wins in these rounds we were going to end up with a chocolate candy fighting a non-chocolate candy.  Also, Grant started freaking out so we turned on the movie WALL-E for him, which he loved and kept he and Bob occupied for the rest of the night.

Caramello vs. Skor - As always, I voted against the Skor bar for the lovely creamy Caramello bar, and Jamey voted for it.  Dave was the tie-breaker and after much consideration, he voted for the Skor bar.  Incredibly, the Skor bar has made it into the final two without my ever having voted for it!

Gummy Worms vs. Starburst - These were both delicious candies.  I ate half of my Starburst, and dropped the other half accidentally in my glass of water!  (Which was approximately my seventh glass of water as my body attempted to digest unholy amounts of sugar.)  I voted for the Starburst and Jamey voted for the Gummy Worms.  The tie-breaker went to Bob this time and though Gummy Worms are one of his all time favorite candies, he voted for Starburst.  We have our final two!

Bob and Grant eating loser candies and watching WALL-E together.  Also note that Sammi, on Bob's lap, is wearing a sweater.

This is Jamey feeling quite sick as we approach the final four.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Fawsonberger Candy Tournament 2008 - Round 3

Note: Please read this entry third after the First Round and the Second Round entries.

After the second round, we were feeling great, and totally high on sugar.  Everything was hilarious and the candy seemed sweeter as we dove into judging the Elite Eight...

York vs. Caramello - I voted for Caramello and anticipated a tie-breaker, knowing of Jamey's love of anything (including feces) covered  in mint.  But Jamey blew all of our minds when she went with Caramello....

Skor vs. Nibs - Of course this round went into tiebreaker.  Jamey voted for Skor, and I voted against.  For the first time, Bob was able to judge a Skor round, and he was stunned by the crunchy-buttery goodness of the center.  He hands-down voted for Skor.

Whatchamacallit vs. Gummy Worms - The Whatchamacallit had an incredible go of it, what with its flavor explosion, but didn't stand a chance against Gummy Worms.

Starburst vs. Jr. Mint - This was a bad round for mints as Jamey again abandoned her love and Starburst reigned triumphant.

David Hulsberg, Tie-breaker extraordinaire is thoughtfully considering the choices before him.

Yeah, I told you.  Sugar High.  Here I am attempting to eat the Tournament Bracket.

Stay tuned for the final two rounds of the candy tournament!!!!!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Fawsonberger Candy Tournament 2008 - Round 2

Note:  If you have yet to read the blog post before about the first round of the candy tournament, please start there for clarity's sake. 

Between rounds one and two, we attempted to start a game of Risk.  But Grant was having none of it and threw all the pieces around like only a nearly-two-year-old can.  So after a little bit of playing and a lot of cleaning, we dove straight into round two!

Milk Duds vs. York - This was a tough competition, but York came up triumphantly!

Caramello vs. Peanut M&M's - Caramello was delicious.  We were both big fans of the caramelly goodness of this chocolate treat.  Onward you go!

Snickers vs. Skor - Once again I voted against Skor and Jamey voted for it (Seeing a trend yet?), in tie-breaker Dave was in love with the buttery-chocolatey deliciousness of the Skor bar.

KitKat vs. Nibs - How could KitKat, with it's chocolate and wafer, stand a chance against the delicious bite-sized amazingness of the red licorice Nibs?  It couldn't and it didn't.

Whatchamacallit vs. Peanut Butter M&M's - Whatchamacallit?  You are so delicious and a surprising contender in this battle.  See ya later PBMMs!

Gummy Worms vs. Mr. Goodbar - We all know that Mr. Goodbar made it into the second round only by a fluke and it did not fare well against the Gummy Worms.

Almond Joy vs. Starburst - Oh Almond Joy, you're incredible!  However in this instance, Starbursts were the champions.

Charleston Chew vs. Junior Mint - Tiebreaker needed for this round as well!  Junior Mint was decided to be the winner as the tiebreaker declared that "Charleston Chews are gross."

The second round contenders are piled neatly in pairs (Thanks to Dave and his OCD!), while the losers are heaped behind in a pile of sadness and destruction.  Also note the hopeful yet naive placement of the Risk board.

Here is Jamey, recording the results of the second round of competition for posterity and for blog-erity.

What will happen in Round 3??? Stay tuned to find out.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Fawsonberger Candy Tournament 2008 - Round 1

I was recently reading the October edition of The Plug in which two contributors undergo a candy tournament.  After reading the tournament's outcome and discussing it with my friend Jamey, we decided to undergo a tourney of our own and see who the true candy champion is.  This is a documentation of the first round of that tournament....  (Competitors were drawn randomly out of a hat.)

Milk Dud's vs. Reese's - A tie in our first competition!  Tiebreaker went to Dave, since Bob was eating dinner.  He chose Milk Dud's for their in your face taste.

Skittles vs. York - York.  Hands down, this was an easy one.

Nerds vs. Nibs - Nibs.  We're on a roll now!

Tootsie Roll vs. Caramello - Caramello wins for it's smooth caramel center and overall satisfaction levels.

Peanut M&M vs. Heath -  This one went into tie-breaker where Bob, after much deliberation, chose Peanut M&M's.

3 Musketeers vs. Snickers - Those 3 Musketeers ran straight back to France after this football branded Snickers kicked them out of the ballpark.  (Do you like my mixed sports metaphors?)

Skor vs. Sugar Babies - I voted against Skor, Jamey voted for.  In tie-breaker, Skor was the easy winner.

Swedish Fish vs. KitKat - Here we diverge for the history of the name KitKat, and KitKat wins.

Whatchamacallit - We both randomly got green Dots, but they didn't hold up to the hidden joy of the Whatchamacallit!  

Butterfinger vs. Peanut Butter M&M's - This round went into tie-breaker...  Peanut Butter M&M's reign triumphantly! 

Gummy Worms vs. SweetTarts - I got a blue tart, Jamey got a red one; but still the gummy/i trumped!

Twix vs. Mr. Goodbar - Mr. Goodbar only made it into this round because it is Bob's favorite candy, though quite disgusting.  Incidentally, there was something wrong with the Twix bar, so the vote was unanimously Mr. Goodbar.

Almond Joy vs. Nutroll - Almond Joy, easy peasy.

100 Grand vs. Starburst - The Starburst were the blue 'California' flavors, and easily defeated the 100 Grand bar.

PayDay vs. Charleston Chew - Mmmmm.... Charleston Chew!  Better frozen, but still enough to beat the PayDay.

Jr. Mint vs. Good & Plenty - G&P's, one of my all time favorite candies, but mint is Jamey's lover.  So it went into a tiebreaker round.... Where Bob betrayed me by voting for Jr. Mints.

Here is Grant, ridiculously happy to be eating the loser candies.  (Only Dots did he call candy, and he dropped Nerds around him everywhere.  Needless to say, my dogs followed him like slaves all night long.)

Here we have Jamey and Dave with the empty tournament bracket.  They are obviously ecstatic to have a night of binge candy eating ahead of them...

Check soon for the next round of the candy tournament!!!

Sunday, October 12, 2008

The Many Faces of.....DEAN GARLICK

If you haven't heard my dad's patented answering machine greeting  call him or call me up and we'll be happy to give you a demonstration. 

The Garlick family was out for the first annual Jiggy Day Celebration.  (A day in which you give in to all of your material desires, dress like fools (e.g. checkered tights), give away ridiculous presents, and enjoy yourself.  Catch it next October 8th!)  I asked my dad to pose for the camera without using his classic 'smile.'

"Smile for the camera, dahling!"

"Serious!  Now let's see serious."

"Angry face!  Oh, that's fierce."

Ah, cheap thrills.  Hamilton's restaurant, October 8, 2008.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008


Bob has been in the Philippines on business for the last 2-3 weeks, and he's getting home tonight! There are a lot of reasons that I'm excited for him to come home, but here are are few:

1. I'm tired of taking care of the yard things like mowing the lawn and deciphering the aged sprinkling system.

2. Maggie and Sammi get off their game when he's gone waking up many times in the night to protect me with their ferocious barking.

3. The house gets spooky when it's just me and two edgy dogs.

4. No one's around to give me a back rub or cuddle with me!

5. I miss his classic Bobisms and hilarious songs.

I heart Bobby! Watch for him flying in a sky near you.

Monday, October 6, 2008

No Paranthesis

Brighton, Top o' Millicent Lift, February 2008.  We got dirty looks from lifties for this picture.

since feeling is first
who pays any attention to the syntax of things
while Spring is in the world

my blood approves,
and kisses are a far better fate
than wisdom
lady i swear by all flowers. Don't cry
--the best gesture of my brain is less than 
your eyelids' flutter which says

we are for eachother: then
laugh, leaning back in my arms
for life's not a paragraph

And death i think is no parenthesis
--e e cummings

Monday, September 29, 2008

Celebration, Jiggy Style

This past weekend I gathered, along with many friends, family, and relative strangers; to celebrate the life of my sister, Jocie Garlick, and the birth of a memorial on top of Beaver Mountain.  I haven't written a lot about what happened to my family six months ago, in part because this is a very public forum for such personal details, but mostly because I don't think that I am ready to.  The emotions are still too raw to internalize and then spit out in the manner I usually employ for my writings.  I think about writing about it, about her, about the aftermath, all the time; I suppose that's good enough for now.

During the program, Jocie's closest friends let go of 99 (give or take, I heard a lot of popping noises) red balloons.  I didn't get to see much of this part of the program, as in the moment this picture was taken, Dione and I started performing 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' (With both of us singing and I on guitar, brave I know.).  I had given my camera to Heady, Bob's sister, and she took this, as well as many other incredible pictures.  I just love the look on these girls' faces.  It makes me cry and smile at the same time.

I also include this self-portrait of Heather 'Heady' Fawson.  A word for the wise, if you want lovely pictures taken while you're busy, give your camera to Heather.  But beware, it will come back with several self-portraits, and undoubtably, a picture of Jayme Champlin in there too.  (I think this is the corner of her head here.  That blonde bit right by the sky there.)

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Battery Bob

This is a picture of Bob sitting on a park bench in Battery Park, at the southern tip of Manhattan during our recent trip to New York at the beginning of September.  We were on our way to the Statue of Liberty/Ellis Island when I insisted on taking a bunch of pictures and Bob sat down to Crackberry.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008


I have decided to instigate a 'picture of the week' for my blog.  This week's picture is from our trip last August to the San Juan Islands with the rest of the Fawson clan.  I took this on our sunset kayaking ride, which was amazing.  As is often the case, the picture does not do the scene justice.

Friday, September 12, 2008


I would have to echo the sentiments of several other blogs I recently read about 9/11 and the shock that seven years have slipped past. I remember sitting in early morning seminary and turning on the tv when only one plane had hit and then watching, mainly in confusion, as a second plane wrapped around to hit the second tower. I remember sitting in Soffe's class first hour and watching him sit on the table in the front of the room, Birkenstocked-feet dangling, crying. I remember not understanding how to feel or what impact this would really have on my 15-year-old high school world.

Bob and I were in New York last week and we went to the 9/11 memorial museum next to Ground Zero. If you're ever in the Big Apple, I would reccomend stopping by, it was an incredibly powerful place. They had giant beams from the towers, twisted like garbage bag ties from the heat and the pressure. There were cases full of things found at in the wreckage, like a menu from the bar on the top floor, two guns melted together, a laptop bag mostly intact from a floor above 100, and a battered fireman's helmet. What struck me the most, however, was a giant wall filled entirely with missing posters. All were handmade, with snapshots from some birthday party or recent vacation, and filled with details that betrayed the emotions of those searching. Answers to the nickname of Teddy; beautiful blue/green eyes; wearing a charcoal tailored pantsuit; if found please call one of these five numbers. It made me sick to my stomach and I stood there in an unfamiliar city standing next to the man I love, feeling the pain of the city, and wondering what it felt like to be there when it was in mourning.

As we left, Bob whispered to me, "After seeing all of this, I want to go bomb some terrorists." So did I, Bobby. So did I.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Killin' Whales

Watch out for the Killin' Whales, my fantasy football team this year. I expect them to succeed in ways never before dreamed of.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

A Hero to One

On Monday, instead of laboring, Bob and I (+ The Sceech) travelled to the place where fun is.  (Hint: It's Lagoon.)  We drove in under a heavy cloud cover and as we jumped out of our cars, excitement prohibiting us (alright, mostly just me) from standing still; the rain started to fall.

Soon, rain was pouring down and we ran to Wicked to hit it before the lines got long.  We had no need to fear long lines, though, we waited moments before hopping on an available car and being jettisoned into oblivion, rain pelting us as we were flung about in the cold and wet.  We rode all the rides, and the best ones several times.

I knew that the weather was changing for the better as we rode one particular rollar coaster and as we reached the top, pointing towards the sky, the clouds parted and the sun shone down on all of us, creating a beautiful moment.  Never has the warm embrace of the sun felt so inviting, and I was regretful as we began our steep descent while Bob lifted up his hands and screamed.

Bobism: On a few rides, the rain was too strong to even keep our eyes open.  Bob described the situation aptly by screaming (while upside-down), "I now know how it feels for Hellen Keller to ride a roller coaster!"

Monday, August 25, 2008

A Whale of a Trip!

This past week we (Bob + I + all of Bob's immediate family + slimebaby) were up in the San Juan Islands off the coast of Washington vacationing our little hearts out. The final day approached and, though there were rumored to be 2-3 pods in residence there, we had yet to see any whales.

Heather Ann and I struck out early one morning, dedicated (read obsessed) to viewing whales before the day was out and we lost our opportunity forever! So we sat there together, our single-mindedness driving all others away as we lost perspective in our pursuit of the whales. It was then, mulling over our mammalian hopes and fears that a miracle happened. A whale-watching boat shouted to the shore that a pod of whales was on its way and would be where we were in a half-hour.

The whole family gathered together, huddled on a mass of rocks, eyes scanning the distance for tiny black specks that it seemed would never come. Finally, they came. Jumping in groups of two or three, the Orca whales seemed like something from Free Willy or Sea World. It was an incredible experience, once in a lifetime and indescribable.

Here's the best picture I was able to get, but keep in mind that I wasn't using any zoom here. 

Friday, August 15, 2008

On the Road Again.....

We're headed off this evening to make the long drive up to Friday Harbor, San Juan Islands. (Are you taking notes, Dione?) I expect to go on many bike rides and hikes, play lots of Nertz and Rock Band, and mostly relax.

Bob and I have not taken time off of work to relax since Christmas of 2007, and this is a much needed vacation. Life has become bogged down with many little stresses: Bob's ankle with two torn ligaments, the yard aka the weed factory, church callings that guilt you into spending valuable time attending pointless meetings, work-need I say any more, and so on and so forth. It's so easy to fill up a life with thousands of meaningless tasks and top it all off with some tv-watching. I'll be glad for the release and the lack of responsibility.

I keep telling myself these things, but what a huge hassle it is to get out of town. I hope that y'all enjoy your week, and keep out of trouble!

Monday, August 11, 2008

Ta da!

New blog layout! It took me forever, and is a much simplified version of where I started out... But it's a work in progress, and now I know that I'm going to have to help the Bitches vamp theirs up as well.... Darn dogs. I'll be looking at putting in a new masthead at some point, but I'm waiting for inspiration.

So if you're reading this from Reader or other RSS feed device, come on over and check out my lovely blog!

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Truths and Consequences

It's true, I love the Twilight books. I know what you unbelievers out there are thinking, because believe me, I thought it once myself. I would never get into faddy literature like that. I know a crappy tween romance book when I see one. I would never taint my mind with the likes of Stephenie Meyer, no matter what I hear about Edward.

You have no idea what you are missing out on! The books are written simplistically and in a Harry Potter-esque style. They capture the imagination and the heart, making it difficult to settle for a man any less than Edwardian.

I first read the books in fall of 2007 when my sister Jocie gave them to me. She hadn't been a huge reader, so I thought that I would humor her by taking them, thus encouraging her nascent love of reading. I couldn't have been more wrong. Instead of doing her a kindly favor, she had done me one by introducing me to such a fun series that captivated my imagination for long after I had read the final page of Eclipse.

So these past few weeks, as everyone has geared themselves up for the release of the 'stunning conclusion of the Twilight saga,' Breaking Dawn, I have felt a wave of melancholy imagining how excited she would be and how often we would text each other about it. I found her copy of Eclipse and read through it, repeatedly returning to the title page where she had written her name carefully in curly script: "Jocelyn Garlick." Oddly formal, using her barely tolerated full name, Jocelyn. I wonder what she was thinking when she inscribed that; surely not that she would never read the conclusion.

So I'm here to recommend the series from both my lips and Jocie's. I will guarantee 100% customer satisfaction, or your money back! If you call now, you can get the Maggie and Sammi commemorative pin, a value of $32, for free. That's right, free!

Wednesday, July 30, 2008


So the Fawsons (Bob's family) have a number of strange phrases. Here are a few:

- Giggins = These are presents of any flavor. Birthday Giggins, Christmas Giggins, Sorry-I-Called-You-Fat Giggins, you get the picture.

- Dippy = A specific kind of dip (Hidden Ranch dry seasoning + sour cream + cottage cheese ??? As a grafted Fawson, I am not allowed the exact recipe and can only guess at the ingredients.) Traditionally is served with Lays Ridged Potato Chips, and rarely is used with vegetables.

- Lippy = Chapstick, lip balm, any lip-applied cosmetic. Traditionally is referred to as a moisturizing agent, as in, "My lips are so chapped! Can I borrow some lippy?"

- Bousht = Carter Fawson (aged 15) the youngest Fawson. Devolution: Carter --> Buster (Don't know how that one came about) --> Bustier, until there were some awkward questions about what this actually means --> Bousht. Also can be known as Cartier (pronounced the traditional French way).

- Lushy = Shortened form of luscious. A certain extended family member says this word quite often, so the family followed suit. Luscious soon proved to be too long, so lushy came to be.

I love these Fawsonisms, and they stand out especially because they are shiny and new to me, not growing up with them all my life. (e.g. I find it perfectly acceptable to refer to the remote as the 'Mee-mo.') It's one of the best parts of joining a new family, getting to know all of their quirks and intimate details, and the Fawsons are always surprising me with more!

Friday, July 25, 2008

Rumor Mill

There have been some misunderstandings lately, so I would like to clear a few things up:

1. Bob is not gay. I know some of you think that he carries a purse and we're married for appearances. I know that there has been some gossip going around at work, but it's not true. Bob is straight, I think that I would know!

2. We are not cruel dog owners. Sometimes the most dire of circumstances requires us to use force on our dogs (kicking, spitting, name-calling). Don't judge us, we're smarter than you!

3. Storing human waste and yard clippings in a giant barrel and then leaving it for the next owners of your house is not cool. Don't do it. It's disgusting. We will hate you for it.

4. 40DDD bras make nice hats. Especially yellow ones. This isn't really a misunderstanding, just an awesome factoid.

As you can see, we've had an interesting week and hopefully we'll see more of these things.

Thank you for your time.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Mini Golf

Yesterday, while hanging out some family, we decided to go mini-golfing with the rest of our evening. It had been raining all day, so the heat was bearable, and an evening out on the course with fun people sounded quite pleasant to all of us, so we headed out!

I hadn't been mini-golfing in years, perhaps I had been on a bad mini-golfing date more recently, but mostly my memory of mini-golfing was from Unni (my grandmother) taking me during the summers of my childhood. I recalled the long afternoons mini-golfing and going to the local cheap water park with her and my cousin-friend Lisa, rushing home afterwards to raid the candy drawer, eat home-cooked churros, cruise around on Gramps' 4-wheeler, and play the marble game.

Now I spend my summer afternoons working hard, or occasionally sneaking away with my mom and sister to buy these matching shoes. Those times seem so simple and so far away. I have an excellent life now, and I remember wanting to be old so badly when I was young, but sometimes I yearn for simpler times when my biggest worry was who I would hang out with tomorrow, and which of my new outfits from the Nordstroms sale would I wear on my first day of school?

I did come in third out of five mini-golfing though. So congratulations to me!

Monday, July 21, 2008


We keep our dogs' food outside in the garage, storing a small amount (about 1/4 of a bag) in a sealed bucket in the house for convenience. This bowl also serves as a serving platform for Maggie's food, because Bob claims it is too difficult for her to bend all the way to the ground considering her height. As much as I mock him for these claims, Maggie does eat a lot better when her food is higher, and perhaps she just likes the idea that her food is higher than Sammi's.

When we left the house on Sunday to attend our 'Sunday Party' (aka That Hot Building Where I Listen to Children Sing About Jesus) we accidentally left the aforementioned food bucket sitting out, and not hidden in its usual closet. A plastic bucket with a snap-on lid? Piece of cake for a famished Weimaraner.

We came home and she had cleaned out the entire bucket, approximately 5-8 of her regular meals in a three hour period. We found her laying on her side, her stomach ridiculously distended. She spent hours laying underneath the evaporative cooler and panting.

Bob said, "I feel so bad for her! I know exactly what she's going through, having done it to myself so many times."

Friday, July 18, 2008

Working For the Weekend

It's a pretty chill day here at work. During a meeting, we ended up talking about nerdy science videos found on the BioRad (a science products vendor) website promoting some of their more expensive products/machinery.

Rumor on the street is that a man from the FBI is coming to redeem our security clearance and then we will have a 'party.' I do not know what that entails.

I'm pretty darn excited for the weekend. Excited enough that I have nothing much to say other than to leave you with a Bobism to make your day like he makes mine!!!

Bobism: Maggie, you deserve a MacArthur Panting Grant for excellence in panting! You're like a genius but with being hot and coping with it. Congratulations! The prize is one dog biscuit.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Mao and the Sentinel

Bob and I have a route we tend to use for our dog-walking. It is a loop through the neighborhood and at the far end of the loop there is a house. (somber music) A house wherein lies Mao and the Sentinel. (Scary music crescendos.)

As we approach the house (usually about two houses away) our dogs' mo hawk fur goes up, Maggie starts growling, Sammi slinks lower to the ground, and everyone starts walking slower. Suddenly, we spot the Sentinel (an adorable Australian Cattle Dog type of sweetheart) whose tail starts wagging and starts barking the meanest, most ferocious bark I've ever heard in my life. Then Mao, an adorable Beagle, runs up to the fence and howls repeatedly at the top of his 14-lb-dog lungs. (Note: Mao is the Beagle's real name, but we don't know the name of the Sentinel.)

This is considered an affront to our girls who lunge at the end of their leashes. Maggie growls and barks while Sammi does this high-pitched whine that I haven't quite figured out since usually she has no qualms about barking her head off like a fool.

An epic battle of scratching and barking ensues with us yelling our heads off and the dogs on the edge of their seat for the next block. It's a harrying experience, but one that the dogs look forward to on every walk. It's like saying to yourself, "Oh goodie! I didn't call my wife to tell her I would be late for dinner, and now we're going to have a gigantic fight about it! I can't wait! I hope that she calls me a worthless fattie and I get to call her a bitch!"

Monday, July 14, 2008

Stalking Lessons

We have new neighbors. Our old neighbors, who we liked well-enough, but didn't want to associate with outside of church, bless their little hearts, have moved out and someone else has moved in...

We're happy with our friends here in Salt Lake, we've got great friends who are supportive and fun; but there's just something about having neighbors whose house you're excited to go over to, or whom you can rely on for an early Saturday morning bike ride.

So we've been asking around and we've found out the following:
-They are Mormon (+ So are we)
-They own a Subaru (+ Perhaps outdoorsy)
-They have a kiddy pool (- Perhaps have children which wouldn't be as ideal/+ Perhaps have a dog, awesome!)
-They are high school teachers (- Kind of bland)
-He is the swim coach at Alta High (+ Athletic, perhaps will could be persuaded to be outdoorsy)
-He teached American Government and Politics and she teaches science and math (+++ Matches our own specialties very well...)

Every opportunity we get, I insist on driving or walking by these people's house in attempt to gain more knowledge. (Will they be pretty, Will they be rich? Here's what Bob said to me.... Que sera, sera! Whatever will be, will be. The future's not ours to see, que sera, sera!)

Today's Bob-ism: "We should bring them [refer to above] cookies to invite them into the neighborhood. But the cookies will have poison in them, and only we will have the antidote. Then they will have to be our friends or else we won't save them from the poison!"

Friday, July 11, 2008


Yesterday was Robert Matthew Fawson's 26th birthday (aka my husband). I think this was the first year of our marriage in which he hadn't already bought a kabillion (actual term meaning a ka of billions) dollar item, claiming it would be his birthday present.

The point is that I went down to have lunch with him during his work, which would be standard for most people, but since he works in Soccer Mom Mecca and I work in Tofusville Hippytown Research Park, and there is about an hour of driving between the two, this is quite the present from me to you. You being Bob. Bob works in a scary place. Strip malls and Mormon movie billboards; everyone has a glazed look to their eyes and cuts you off with their BYU-style-personalized license plated minivans.

I digress. What I'm trying to say is that I realized yesterday, more than ever before, how differently Bob and I spend our days. I'm up on the east bench of Salt Lake City, working on science and ebola and stuff, while Bob is down southernly way in the realm of the "Zoobies" working on 'market research,' a vague euphemism for bs-ing with people all day long. When we were in college, we spent all day together. We would each go to our separate classes and then meet in his office to do homework, or more likely to go get Scotsman dogs and Diet beverage refills. (see picture of Scotsman dog for reference) We only owned one car, and we mostly biked places. We both worked on campus, and would go out for afternoon hikes when classes got too rough.

So it's sad that now I barely know the route to his work and he's never been inside mine. I spend so much time here, and he spends even more there, and we'll never again have the proximity that we did in Logan.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008


My boss is out of town, and a package came in today for her, so in her absence, Jamey and I got the pleasure of opening it. This package stated that the contents 'needed to be refrigerated at -20C upon opening,' so we opened it immediately for the sake of the contents. The package was about three feet long, a foot wide, a foot tall, and made out of Styrofoam; basically a cheap cooler. Also, the box was heavy. Very heavy.

Jamey and I were excited to see the contents, we weren't expecting any packages, and I was worried about where we were going to find the freezer space for this gigantic find.

We opened the lid to find a mountain of dry ice (expected in this sort of delivery) close to the top we found a small box, smaller than my iPhone (though thicker than it). We dug through the rest of the box finding nothing but dry ice, and nearly burning ourselves several times on it. All of that space for dry ice to freeze a cell-phone sized box?!?!?!?!

I realize as I write this that it in no way captures the hilarity and bizarreness of my afternoon... But it will have to do.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Rocky Mountain High

This weekend we (we being my family + a few tag-a-longs) went camping up in the Uintah Mountains, by Marsh Lake to be more specific. Run down of the bests and the worsts of my 4th of July.

10 things I loved: (no particular order)
  • 14 mile hike to the Big Meadow/Beaver Lake
  • The shower I took in the trailer after said hike
  • Watching Maggie swim and the other dogs (Sammi and Izzie) attack her
  • Canoing out to the Heeb-Jeebs
  • Playing a ton of Nertz
  • Eating Raspberry/Strawberry/Blackberry/Rhubarb pies made by yours truly
  • Delicious, delicious foods
  • Cheating. And then failing, failing horribly.
  • Sitting around the campfire and telling tall tales
  • Watching three boys change a flat tire on a dirt road in the middle of nowhere
10 things I hated: (no particular order)
  • Mosquitoes
  • DEET
  • Sunscreen
  • The sunscreen/DEET film over my entire body
  • Mosquito bites
  • Spraying the dogs with DEET when they hated it
  • Being sprayed with DEET ("Mama, I hate it!")
  • Gigantor flies
  • Having everything taste faintly like DEET
  • The diseases (cancer, etc.) I will now get from having all that DEET in my bloodstream

These are just some of the many reasons I will look fondly back at the memories of this weekend as I return to my life as a city slicker.

Thursday, July 3, 2008


I finally got around to changing my address and registering to vote with the Utah League of Bureaucracy (after a mere ten months) and I'm ready for the presidential elections coming this fall (perhaps the most anticipated event of this millennium, or so it seems).

To get the dogs pumped up, we've been encouraging them to endorse John McCain. These two bitches may be the only creatures in the world that become excited when they hear the words "John McCain." Everyone else is apathetic or mildly adverse, which is what our political system boils down to, the person that wins is the person that creates the least upset reaction, perhaps a man weeks away from a nursing home!

Regardless, everytime we come home or we're about to give them a treat, we shout out, "John McCain!!! John McCain!!!" Naturally, they jump out and freak out as they are prone to do.

We then took this a step further and gave Maggie Bob's old wallet. So for a time (before they chewed the wallet into tiny leather bits that clogged the vacuum for months) we would shout, "John McCain! John McCain!" And Sammi would jump up and down in the air while Maggie would run to try to hand us the wallet (she wanted to play fetch).

The point is, they've transferred $5,000 in funds over the internet to John McCain's campaign due to this training. I guess it worked a little too well...

Tuesday, July 1, 2008


My boss recently found out that her long-time ex-boyfriend Kevin made the decision to undergo a sex-change operation and became Karen. We spent a long time pouring over pictures on Facebook, trying to determine what happened to his/her Adam's apple and where the boobs came from. It was incredible.

Ever since then, I can't help but wonder what I would do if that same thing were to happen to me. What if Carson became Carmen, Jer became Jen, Andy became Andrea (pronounced Ohn-drea, surely), and so on. I would surely question my sexuality; I don't necessarily fall for weight-lifting, truck-driving, rednecked 'macho' men; I like my men smart and funny (like Robert Matthew Fawson), though my husband is a superb handyman.

So ex-boyfriends beware: If you change into women on me, I'm going to go beat you up. (And scratching will count this time...)

Wednesday, June 18, 2008


I have been sick for the past five days or so, and I decided to give myself a nasal swab and test it on our handy instrument, the FilmArray for a panel of respiratory diseases (mostly viruses).

The results?! I have Rhinovirus!!! I am elated. I have been going around announcing to everyone my disease of choice. Somehow it doesn't seem as crappy to have a cold if you know what it's name is. It's name is Rhino and it's an SOB.

Thank you, and goodnight.

Monday, June 16, 2008

June Weddings

I have a confession to make, I am addicted to weddings. Monday mornings, my favorite thing to do is hop on the Herald Journal website (Logan's finest newspaper), and look at the wedding announcements. June is especially delightful since it was the month in which I was wed, and since there are many many others following suit, making there many many wedding announcements to read.

This picture is from my favorite announcement this week, the Canning-Wilson wedding where they, "exchanged vows on the beach in San Pancho, Mexico on May 3, 2008. Family and friends celebrated for several days together in Costa Azul and Puerto Vallarta before Peter and Courtney left for a 10-day ocean kayaking adventure."

Doesn't that just sound positively divine?! *romantical sigh*

Friday, June 13, 2008


Today is Friday the Thirteenth, and an ominous day. We're attempting to leave on a camping trip this weekend, and I'm worried that something, anything is going to go wrong. Despite all of my claims, I'm actually quite a superstitious person. I avoid stepping on cracks in the sidewalk, lift up my feet when driving over train tracks (awkward since I live right next on some), perdiddle, hold my breath through tunnels, etc... Wish us luck!

Word of the day: paraskavedekatriaphobia - fear of Friday the thirteenth.

For your friday enjoyment:

Thursday, June 12, 2008


After Jocie passed away, my parents made Dione and I promise many, many things to them, but one of them at least we have kept; Dione and I have talked to each other, on the phone or in person, every day since. (83 days, I just counted them.) Some people would think that this would get old, some would think that it would be annoying, some would think it would be easy to forget; and on all of these points, these genius people would be right. But I've really enjoyed these conversations, tedious as they can be, frustrating as it is to wake up to talk to you sister, accommodating her busy social schedule. I've learned a lot about her, and I've been able to open up to her in a way I haven't for years.

So today, as she leaves the realm of teenager-dom and enters the world of twenty-somethings, I think that I'm more qualified then ever to wish her Happy Birthday. And many mooooooore!!!!!

Oh, and also: iPhone.

Dione is laughing in this picture, not crying. And she is laughing because after gorging herself at a fancy buffet, she is getting the 'meat sweats.' A terrible medical condition, donate now to find a cure.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Joyeux Anniversaire!!!

Today marks the three years since I married Robert Matthew Fawson, affectionately known as Bob. It seems simultaneously much longer and much shorter than three years, so I suppose three years is about right.

It seems that Bob and I have been living/loving together and getting on each other's nerves for much longer than three years. I seems strange to think of a time when I came home to anything else but our small family of two humans and two dogs.

At the same time, three years has gone by quite quickly. A lot has happened, we now have four college degrees (alright, three of them are Bob's), own a house, have been parents to three dogs (though never more than two at once) and have grown a lot. We've gone through heart-ache, traveled the world, dealt with depression and insecurities. We've hiked, biked, rock-climbed, canoed, camped, back-packed, snow-shoed, skiied, sledded, swam, flown, been on more than one "Death March," bought a car on Ebay, road-tripped, learned to cook, and learned how to tease each other with efficacy.

Love you, Bobby.

Thursday, May 22, 2008


I am obsessed lately with gardening. I look forward with eager anticipation to the time each evening when I can go outside, inspect my plants, and sprinkle them with life-giving water. I consider each young seedling a credit to my excellent planting and watering abilities, and I treat each infiltrating weed (mostly morning glory) as a nemesis as vile as any fought by governments or superheroes.

That being said, I resent the rainstorms. They deprive me of my precious outside time and my growth scrutiny is diminished by the mud and general ickiness following a rainstorm. Also, the dogs get ridiculously messy.

I used to adore the rain, I would anxiously look forward to every slight possibility of rain. I guess I still do appreciate the 20 degree temperature drop. Tastes change; perhaps next week I will be raving on about how rainstorms have made my life livable and how much I'm sick of weeding.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008


Bob recently told me about an article he read about the growing number of people having emotional breakdowns and psychological issues because of the pressure of updating their blog regularly. I can't say that I have this problem, but the Bitches do....

Instead, I would diagnose myself with another problem. I think about blogging too much; or writing anyways. Whenever anything happens to me, big or small, my mind immediately starts writing about it. Later, in front of the computer, I try to conjure up the imagery and the beautiful things I had intended to write, but by then it is gone. Anything I write seems pale and insignificant compared to the beautiful, now-ethereal, prose of my mind. So in some ways, my writing is a continual disappointment.

And yet, I know that it is better for me to write this here and now then to write nothing at all. At least this way, I will have a legacy. You can read this and remember me when I'm away for a moment, a month, a lifetime, or for good.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

list o' cheer

Ten Things that Made Me Chuckle This Week
(In no particular order.)

1. My friend's 18-month-old putting Maggie's food dish on his head and declaring, "Hat!" (Later, he tried to lick said dish.)

2. The non-lyrics to Benny and the Jets (courtesy of 27 Dresses).

3. Maggie walking straight into a van.

4. Nicknaming those who don't want to be nicknamed. (e.g. Mimi & Kiki)

5. Secret by The Pierces. (Music video here --> I couldn't get it to embed...)

6. Gay Gossip.

7. Our group's Office-Quote-A-Day calendar.

8. BTFABBQ[HQN2Niner] Fiesta Cinqo de Mayo planning.

9. "I don't make pies, I make women melt." (Mateo on being asked to join the pie club solely based on his watching of Iron Chef and having a Y-chromosome.)

10. 30 Rock. This made me chuckle so much, I insist upon re-telling each episode in detail to Bob. Needless to say, he is less than amused.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

three rooms

Today I walked through the now-empty childhood rooms of sisters. The blond one, the brown one, the red one; all three are gone from the house, presumably for good.

There was once a day when all three lived with motherbrotherfather in a house full of hustle and bustle. The house is full of silence now. The sisters taught, teased, tortured, tantrumed, terrorized, tricked, and treated.

"Stop playing the piano!"
"I didn't tell you you could borrow my shirt!"
"Do you want to play Utah-in-a-Box?"
"Did you kiss him?"

These sisters' voices still echo through the now empty rooms, melancholy with the abandonment, but hopeful for the retained memories. The rooms contain smells, forgotten notes, discarded clothes, fading pictures, unwanted wedding presents, dress-up clothes, a collection of make-up, gifts too nice to carry around, a guitar, a set of golf clubs. These rooms are full of things, evidence of the vibrant and beautiful girls that once lived there; but the rooms seem empty without the girls.

Can a room feel?
If it could, these rooms would feel lonely.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

snow peas

There's something incredibly beautiful in the first shoots of something planted by one's own hands breaking the crust of the earth. I was overanxious to start a garden this spring, and we planted seeds about three weeks ago. I worried over them as snow fell several times and nothing but weeds surfaced. However, three or four days ago, the snow peas started pushing up through the ground, parting the moist soil with the strength of a nascent seedling.

And so it is, the circle of life. The winter has been very cold and snowy this year, and it has taken a long time to get rid of the snow. There is still a chill in the ground, as well as in my heart; but there is a small seedling. It is spring.

Friday, April 25, 2008

from ear to ear

Eskimos are reputed to have hundreds of words for snow. I propose we generate as many words for smiles. I can only think of grin and smirk, and the thesaurus entry was weak, indeed. Here are ten of the smiles that I think need new names:

1. The uncontrollable smile that breaks across your face like a winter dawn when the man you love does something extra sweet.

2. The, "I see you every day but don't have anything to say to you, so I just smile," smile.

3. The smile (perhaps coupled with a perfunctory snort or chuckle) when something someone said is not that funny, but you feel the urge to be kind regardless.

4. The ear-to-ear enthusiastic grin when greeting an old friend.

5. The good-bye smile.

6. The smile of genuine surprise.

7. The smile of embarrassment, "No, I think it's funny that I fell on my butt spilling coffee all over myself, really I do!"

8. The flirty smile, "Come hither."

9. The smile of relief. "He's going to be okay?"

10. And one of my favorites, the chuckle/smile to yourself when you're reading something funny alone.

Any I have forgotten?

EDIT -- 4/29/08 Over dinner last night, Michelle came up with: The smile that babies make when they're gassy. Bob came up with: The smile Maggie makes right before she vomits.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Tiping the scales

Miracles do happen I suppose. I wrote this the day before Jocie passed away.

Cassandra Anne said...

I once believed this way, that life was a serious of unfortunate events waiting to climax; each high a new apex to plunge into the depths of despair from. I no longer believe this.

Life is about perspective. Sure, there's AIDS, and disagreements, and dead deer on the highway; but life is full of so much beauty as well.

If life is tucked full of sadness, it's also sparkled with specs of ecstacy (not the drug) to equilibrate, or even (as I believe) to tip the scales over from tragedy to comedy.

A cloud shaped like your professor, a ridiculous email, the fact that the machine I'm running right now is harmonizing perfectly with the fridge across the room; I think if you took an unbiased look around you, you'd find there's more to smile than frown about.

March 21, 2008 11:55 AM

I might not have said this a week or two ago, but I think I'm going to be okay. I think we're all going to be okay, as time passes.

But do me a favor, call your sister. Call her today and tell her that you love her. Do it for those of us that cannot.

Monday, March 31, 2008

Go Jiggy

A tulip's fresh opened petals;
A crumpled kleenex, still damp;
A card with sincerely expressed emotions;
A million pictures of her;
These are the sights.

The sniffling of your mother;
The barking of dogs at every additional doorbell ring;
The ringing-ringing-ringing of the telephone;
The singing of her broken-hearted friends;
These are the sounds.

A lifetime's worth of flowers;
A loaf of freshly baked bread;
A meaty chili on the floor;
A spritz of her Juicy perfume;
These are the smells.

The hug of your too skinny mother;
The feathery petals of flowers;
The curly matted hair of a dog
The cold feeling of metal from her necklaces;
These are the touches.

These are the sensations of grief.
But I'm glad for them.
I'm glad for the splashes of color,
In an otherwise expanse of gray.

Dedicated to Jocie Garlick.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

turn of the drill

I just returned from the sadist, oh I mean the dentist; and I couldn't help, as I sat there under anesthetic and drills, but ponder the sexism of that profession. I have never met a female dentist or orthodontist, and furthermore, I've never met a male dental hygienist. Why is this?! In school, I went to school with many pre-med, pre-dent students, and looking back, I never met a female pre-dent student, though I met many, many female pre-meds. What?! Sexism is alive and well, and in your mouth. Even if there are female dentists out there, there must be very low numbers for me to never have encountered even one....

I also couldn't help but detest the kindly older man drilling on my cavities. I kept telling myself, "This is your own fault, not his." And yet, I couldn't remember having done anything wrong. It couldn't be the fault of delicious, delicious candy! No, it must be Dr. Badger's fault. Cruel, cruel man.

Argh. And now my anesthetic is wearing off, I'd better go swallow a bottle of Advil.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

my only sunshine

As I woke up this morning the sun peaked over the mountains and winked at me. "Go back where you came from," I whispered to her. "Bob and I are having a wonderful morning here together. Leave us be for another moment or two, won't you please?"

The sun smiled and drew dark clouds around her like a blanket. "As you wish," she smiled coyly at me. Suddenly, the brilliant morning sky went dark and the last bit of sun was covered up with dark clouds. I smiled thinking of the extra time we'd have to cuddle when suddenly, it began to snow; large ominous flakes of snow on our newly exposed lawn. There would be no spring cleaning of the yard today.

As I realized my folly, I heard the sun chuckling as from a far distance, "As you wish..."

Sunday, March 2, 2008

spring is for lovers

I was driving home on Friday, and was stopped at a traffic light. I saw a young couple holding hands and giggling; happy to be out in the warm spring air, happy to feel the sun on their faces, happy to be falling in love.

I couldn't help but think of the spring in which I feel hopelessly in love. Oblivious to the harsh world around me, I was lost in the grandeur of finding the person in the world that I mesh the best with.

Spring is for lovers.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

The Confessional

I have a confession to make... I am addicted to the internet. This unhealthy obsession began many years ago, when I was in junior high. I have gone through internet trends (Napster, Livejournal, MySpace, and now Facebook and Blogger) like a runny nose goes through kleenex, and still I want more.

And the acquisition of my iPhone has aggravated this condition. I now am connected to the internet wherever I am; stuck in traffic, boring meeting at work; and I too readily take advantage of it.

I read blogs, check the weather, keep up with several email accounts... At times I become a freakish internet stalker, existing entirely in a fictional realm and ceasing to interact with many people anywhere but the information super-highway.

Even my dogs have a blog....

Monday, February 25, 2008

The Late Show

As I walk my dogs along the road in the late evening, I pass the same house each time. From the road, the ethereal glow of two televisions can be seen through the opaque drapes. One television is turned to a sports channel, the other to CSI, or other such primetime show.

I know the people that live there, an aged couple with children and career long behind them. They are left with each other and their long-festering relationship. I'm so worried that when my marriage reaches its sixtieth year, our kisses will grow stale, our very presence a bother to one another, the only relief we find is in our separate television shows late at night; made even more sad by the juxtaposition with the blissful joy we live in now...

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

what if...

What if? Those heavy words sinking with the weight of their implications. A memory hit me today, poignant and painful; of a small mistake made long ago.

Why can't we live today so we won't feel regret tomorrow? Politicians, parents, idealists; all spend time trying to undo what was done.

We have a dog from an neglective home and every day I can see the ramifications of her previous owners' actions. What if she had been treated like we treat her when she was a puppy?

What if?

Friday, February 15, 2008


Bob left this afternoon to go camping with the scouts.

A few hours later, I received a phone call from his mother. His grandfather is in the hospital with heart troubles. They've given him six months to live.

How do I tell Bob when he returns????

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

The Spring has Sprung

This morning as I drove into work, dawn broke over the mountains for the first time in months. I had been driving in the dark in the mornings for so long, I had forgotten how pleasant it was to watch dawn break and to see the cars in front of me on the road. I felt instantly cheered and sure that the day would turn out warm and memorable.

However, spring failed to show its smiling face. As a matter of fact, my husband is stranded right now due to the poor weather. We had an incredible plan for tonight, and it's all been dashed against the rocks....

When will spring come?!

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Decision 2008

The last time I wrote, I mentioned our offer to take a job in Washington DC, and our intentions to take the job and move. Since then, we've been offered another (better) position to stay here in Salt Lake City.

We have spent all weekend thinking about where we want to be and what we want to do with our futures. And despite the loss of adventure, we're pleased to say that we'll be staying in Salt Lake City.

Monday, February 4, 2008


Skiing recently, I took a steep turn in a chute. It was the right turn to make, and I did nothing wrong. And yet, I found myself akimbo. My balance was off and I could feel the inevitability of gravity pulling at my body; urging me to careen down the steep slope. Feeling the hopelessness of the situation, I threw my body into the fall and I tumbled head over heels down the mountain. I somersaulted through a patch of powder and came back up having not misplaced anything, and with no more pain than a back full of snow.

And so it is in my current situation. Despite my best intentions, I've found myself perched precariously on the edge of a cliff. And after sitting for a few days resting awkwardly, I've decided to throw myself wholeheartedly into the unknown, hoping that I come out no worse for the wear.

We're moving to Washington DC within the next two or three months. Wish us luck!

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

The Dude Abides

When I was younger, I wanted to be nouns. Doctor, lawyer, writer, librarian. I was sure that after enough searching, I would find the perfect noun to encompass the essence of Cassandra. Doctors are analytical and caring. Writers are artistic and aloof. Students are hard-working and single-minded.

Now that I'm a little older and wiser too, I've come to the realization I no longer desire to be a noun. I can think of no noun that would encompass everything I want to become. Now, I want to be adjectives. Caring, knowledgeable, friendly, ambitious. I'm sure now there is no perfect cookie cutter noun that can fit Cassandra. Perhaps I can build my own through my adjective endeavor.

Most of all, however, I want to be true. I want to be the kind of person that others can depend on to be there. I want to trust my own drive, integrity, and judgment. I want to never let a friend down. I want to be the example for my own family. In my experience, when times are harsh, and roads twisted; being true to yourself is the only thing that will pull you through. Your best friend's political opinions, your neighbor's fashion sense, your parents' outlook on education; none of these will get you through the tough times unless you truly know yourself. And when you do, others' differing opinions can be shrugged off. When you truly know yourself, there is an incredible serenity that follows; feeling that all will be okay, regardless.

I cannot profess to truly know myself, but I have glimpsed my own truth tonight, and it feels good.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Snow Math

I saw this mathematical equation while I was up skiing this weekend:

RU QTπ???

Basically, it was amazing.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

The Munning

The air smells of cold and the sky is thick with a pre-dawn blackness. My shoes slip along the ice as pulled by the forward momentum of the canine. My feet, the only sounds on the street, make a crunching noise and fogs of breath cloud my vision. I am alone with my thoughts.

It was in this time, several days earlier, that I decided to conduct my experiment. Will my faltering relationships fail when I stop pouring so much of myself into them??? I am tired of investing valuable emotional resources into a failing relationship. I am tired of feeling unwanted and unloved by those people. I am tired of waiting and waiting for someone to grab my outstretched hand.

The sad thing is, I don't think this resolve has made any impact whatsoever. Oh well, at least I still have several relationships that are still worth my while.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Thick Spit

Bob has a terrible condition that mostly strikes him at night. It keeps him up tossing and turning which consequentially keeps me up. He claims that the only solution would be to get him a spittoon. Then he could wake up and spit out his "thick spit" and sleep through the night. Where do you buy a spittoon???

In other news, I'm extremely excited about 2008. I have great hopes and plans for this year.