Tuesday, January 22, 2008

The Dude Abides

When I was younger, I wanted to be nouns. Doctor, lawyer, writer, librarian. I was sure that after enough searching, I would find the perfect noun to encompass the essence of Cassandra. Doctors are analytical and caring. Writers are artistic and aloof. Students are hard-working and single-minded.

Now that I'm a little older and wiser too, I've come to the realization I no longer desire to be a noun. I can think of no noun that would encompass everything I want to become. Now, I want to be adjectives. Caring, knowledgeable, friendly, ambitious. I'm sure now there is no perfect cookie cutter noun that can fit Cassandra. Perhaps I can build my own through my adjective endeavor.

Most of all, however, I want to be true. I want to be the kind of person that others can depend on to be there. I want to trust my own drive, integrity, and judgment. I want to never let a friend down. I want to be the example for my own family. In my experience, when times are harsh, and roads twisted; being true to yourself is the only thing that will pull you through. Your best friend's political opinions, your neighbor's fashion sense, your parents' outlook on education; none of these will get you through the tough times unless you truly know yourself. And when you do, others' differing opinions can be shrugged off. When you truly know yourself, there is an incredible serenity that follows; feeling that all will be okay, regardless.

I cannot profess to truly know myself, but I have glimpsed my own truth tonight, and it feels good.


Anonymous said...

I love reading your blog. I feel good when I do, and that is a wonderful thing. I want to be Adj. too.
Your Cousin,

Anonymous said...

And I forgot to put an "an" in there, so here it is.

Cassandra Anne said...

Thanks Katie. It was fun to see you tonight! Don't let my family give you too much crap...